Fucking Apostrophes

Simon Griffin lets off steam so that we don’t have to, showing precisely why ‘Rhianna and Jennifer’s photos were all over the internet’ is quite different to ‘Rhianna’s and Jennifer’s photos’ or what words apostrophes are ...

Author: Simon Griffin

Publisher: Icon Books

ISBN: 1785781421

Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

Page: 96

View: 839

‘At last, a book that tells you exactly where to stick your apostrophe ... funny and useful, the perfect stocking filler.’ David Marsh, Guardian Apostrophes are a pain. The rules about how to use them are complicated, and have evolved haphazardly. Originally written as advice by a copywriter for designers – wont to insert and remove apostrophes at will, for visual effect – this is a light-hearted pocket-sized guide to getting the things right. Simon Griffin lets off steam so that we don’t have to, showing precisely why ‘Rhianna and Jennifer’s photos were all over the internet’ is quite different to ‘Rhianna’s and Jennifer’s photos’ or what words apostrophes are replacing in sentences such as ‘He’d like you to buy him some cocaine’, or ‘They’ve got it all on camera.’ Elegantly produced, this is the perfect gift for any pedant, as well as an indispensable guide in all our moments of grammar-related frustration.

Fucking Good Manners

This is not a book about how to be posh.

Author: Simon Griffin

Publisher: Icon Books

ISBN: 1785785575

Category: Humor

Page: 192

View: 240

This is not a book about how to be posh. We have some slightly bigger issues to deal with these days. We’ve all got a million things to do and are constantly connected to millions of other people all doing a million other things, so the faster we get things done the better, right? Wrong. Among all the busyness and confusion it seems we’ve forgotten a few of the basics in life, like the ability to treat one another with respect, dignity and some fucking good manners. Enter Simon Griffin, author of Fucking Apostrophes. From the entry-level stuff like saying please, thank you and sorry; manspreading on public transport and double-lane queuing at airports, to those that require just a little bit more thought, such as correct urinal protocol in public toilets, making tea rounds in the office and online public displays of affection, Simon imparts rules and advice to living life in a way that makes it just a bit better for everyone. With some liberal use of rude words thrown in to emphasise the point. With chapters on driving, social media, the environment, getting on with your neighbours, and the best manners for a trip to the cinema, this is the perfect gift for a manners enthusiast, or those in need of a gentle (but sweary) nudge in the right direction.

Apostrophe

(fucked up in your own special way) you are fucked up beyond all recognition • you want to sound tough around new people so tell them that your nickname in ...

Author: Bill Kennedy

Publisher: ECW Press

ISBN: 1554902665

Category: Literary Criticism

Page: 293

View: 945

you are entirely happy with your poem / you are not happy then there is no charge and your deposit is returned / you are totally satisfied with the outcome / you are a man / you are a little confused / you are entirely happy with your poem / you are not happy then there is no charge and your deposit is returned / you are totally satisfied with the outcome . . . Apostrophe is: a) a figure of speech in which a person, an abstract quality or a nonexistent entity is addressed as though present b) a poem written in 1993 in which every sentence is an apostrophe c) a

Making Sense of Bad English

Fucking Apostrophes. London: Icon Books. Haugen, Einar. 1966. Dialect, language, nation. American Anthropologist 68: 922–935. Jones, Charles W. 1954.

Author: Elizabeth Peterson

Publisher: Routledge

ISBN: 1000652319

Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

Page: 166

View: 975

Why is it that some ways of using English are considered "good" and others are considered "bad"? Why are certain forms of language termed elegant, eloquent or refined, whereas others are deemed uneducated, coarse, or inappropriate? Making Sense of "Bad English" is an accessible introduction to attitudes and ideologies towards the use of English in different settings around the world. Outlining how perceptions about what constitutes "good" and "bad" English have been shaped, this book shows how these principles are based on social factors rather than linguistic issues and highlights some of the real-life consequences of these perceptions. Features include: an overview of attitudes towards English and how they came about, as well as real-life consequences and benefits of using "bad" English; explicit links between different English language systems, including child’s English, English as a lingua franca, African American English, Singlish, and New Delhi English; examples taken from classic names in the field of sociolinguistics, including Labov, Trudgill, Baugh, and Lambert, as well as rising stars and more recent cutting-edge research; links to relevant social parallels, including cultural outputs such as holiday myths, to help readers engage in a new way with the notion of Standard English; supporting online material for students which features worksheets, links to audio and news files, further examples and discussion questions, and background on key issues from the book. Making Sense of "Bad English" provides an engaging and thought-provoking overview of this topic and is essential reading for any student studying sociolinguistics within a global setting.

Lockdown Earth 730

cries the bibliophile Eastern gorilla reading Fucking Apostrophes! in the Virunga Mountains of the Democratic Republic of Congo,Uganda,and Rwanda.

Author: Emely Batin-Orillos

Publisher: AuthorHouse

ISBN: 1665525053

Category: Fiction

Page: 252

View: 647

A sequel to the spellbinding sci-fi spiritual saga,MOON DAUGHTER'S REVERIES...THE APOCALYPSE,this book takes action right in Wuhan,China where the very ill visionary woman scribe,Emily Archangel is secretly hidden by the Armies of Light in an old asylum that houses the half-dead victims of the first wave of the Corona virus.St. Michael Archangel returns back to the planet to rescue his beloved from the devil disguised as a Hooded Dragon statesman and from a mad billionaire physicist,David Cheng who is as obsessed with the woman scribe.The captain archangel escapes from heaven and so,punished by God that he takes the persona of a convicted serial killer,the most handsome Prussian,Richard Lion Houdershell.As Earth is in the ultimate lockdown,Emily Archangel must secure God's postcript to save the planet from a nuclear apocalypse.A Yellow Fish lands into the plate of the very sick woman scribe one lovely December morning,and heaven's code does the spectacular fireworks right in the cradle of the Yellow virus,the Middle Kingdom,China,unsuspecting of the upbeat divine comedy of God the Father drinking Yellow tea and enjoying Mandarin pancakes.Planet Earth has never prepared for heaven's modern fiction.

The Thick of It The Missing DoSAC Files

just failed artists who couldn't draw the fucking curtains, never mind a proper ... blizzard of misplaced apostrophes and very fucking poor grammar indeed.

Author: Armando Iannucci

Publisher: Faber & Faber

ISBN: 0571333028

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 136

View: 789

'It's the kind of f***-up that would normally have Malcolm Tucker, Number 10's Communications Director, the master of spin and the "Matrix" spitting blood ... No, the guilty party in this instance is none other than Tucker himself. The man who likes to keep an iron grip on every news item in the media and every policy announcement that comes out of the government, has only gone and LEFT A CONFIDENTIAL FILE ON A TRAIN: The DoSAC Files.' Based around the idea that King of Spin Malcolm Tucker has lost a confidential and highly-damaging file on a train, this book is a collection of highly sensitive documents: personnel files, policy drafts, letters and emails, transcripts of phone calls, election campaign documents and top secret papers on the government's media strategy for wars and recessions. There are also more personal documents such as the early drafts of Tucker's diary, in no legal condition for publication. It's explosive stuff, which could end careers on both sides, including Tucker's own... From the team behind the award-winning and phenomenally successful The Thick Of It, and the Oscar-nominated In The Loop, comes the official tie-in book, The DoSAC Files. Written by the show's creator Armando Iannucci along with his co-writers Jesse Armstrong, Tony Roche, Simon Blackwell and swearing consultant Ian Martin, The DoSAC Files looks set to be the political satire event of the year.

Prodigal Father Pagan Son

“There's a fucking apostrophe before the s. It's just grammatically incorrect.” But worse than that, denim faded over time. After a while, no one could even ...

Author: Anthony "LT" Menginie

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 1429919558

Category: True Crime

Page: 288

View: 696

Winner of the USA Book News National Book Award for Best Nonfiction True Crime and Best Memoir/Autobiography By the time he was thirteen, he already had attended thirteen funerals. Abandoned by his mother, and with his father, "Mangy" Menginie—president of the Pagans Motorcycle Club, Philadelphia chapter—in jail, Anthony "LT" Menginie is raised inside the Pagans and inducted into a life of sex, violence, drugs, and organized crime. In Mangy's absence, LT finds a father figure in the Saint, a club member who helps teach him the difference between the club members you respect...and those you fear. The author recounts the power struggles that occur when Mangy is released from jail and tries to resume his role as father and president. Soon all hell breaks loose when Mangy betrays the club by going over to the rival Hells Angels, helping to touch off the "Biker Wars" in Philadelphia. The chapter's new president grooms LT to one day confront his father for his treachery. Faced with an impossible decision, LT has to decide where his loyalties lie. Prodigal Father, Pagan Son is a voyeuristic glimpse into the shocking and hypnotic underworld of notorious "one-percenter" biker clubs, hit men, drug dealers, and the other individuals who operate under no other rules than the "club code." But more than this, Menginie's story is the gritty and powerful true tale of surviving amid personal trials and tragedies, and of one man's determination to escape to a better life.

The Wren Hunt

It was worse than I thought. This was an apostrophe, a big fucking apostrophe. TWENTY-NINE Girl of leaf and petal I have not seen.

Author: Mary Watson

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing

ISBN: 1408884941

Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page: 432

View: 158

NOMINATED FOR THE CILIP CARNEGIE MEDAL 2019 SHORTLISTED FOR THE IRISH BOOK AWARDS TEEN/YOUNG ADULT BOOK OF THE YEAR 2018 'Beautiful, eerie, dark and dreamy' MELINDA SALISBURY 'Watson's writing has the sort of poise rarely found in a debut' KIRAN MILLWOOD HARGRAVE 'Thrilling and otherworldly' SUNDAY TIMES Every winter, Wren Silke is chased through the forest in a warped version of a childhood game. The boys who haunt her are judges, powerful and frightening pursuers, who know nothing of her true identity. If they knew she was an augur, their sworn enemy, the game would turn deadly. But Wren is on the hunt, too. Sent undercover as an intern to the Harkness Foundation – enemy headquarters – her family's survival rests on finding a secret meant to stay hidden. As the enmity between two ancient magics reaches breaking point, Wren is torn between old loyalties and new lies. And trapped in the most dangerous game of her life. Part thriller, part love story, this captivating debut novel will leave readers spellbound.

I Know Where I m

Get constructive abuse, for incorrect use, of a fucking apostrophe. CARING FOR LARGE PEOPLE NEEDS A HARD REGIME I read 45.

Author: Ken Eaton-Dykes

Publisher: Paragon Publishing

ISBN: 1782224904

Category: Poetry

Page: 184

View: 733

Ken Eaton-Dykes: pessimist or prophet? … or comic curmudgeon?

Sinews of thy Heart Book Four

... so why not just write the word you or be? And was it so hard to type a fucking apostrophe? But that wasn't the point. The point was that Sam. Chapter Four.

Author: Jennifer Skogen

Publisher: ABDO

ISBN: 168076151X

Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page: 208

View: 835

After an unthinkable tragedy on Halloween, Jackson must decide if he should stay in Grey Hills, or pack up everything and leave with Sam and the others. A new start is appealing, but Dominick has made it clear that Jackson is not welcome. When Jackson starts sleepwalking and hearing voices, he isn't sure if he is going crazy, or if he has inherited an unspeakable power. Meanwhile, Claire is determined to find out exactly what happened on Halloween, which brings Jackson directly into her line of fire. Sinews of thy Heart is Book #4 from The Haunting of Grey Hills, an EPIC Press series. Some titles may contain explicit content and/or language.

The Great Typo Hunt

“So, Does Veterans Day Have a Fucking Apostrophe or What?” The Black Table, October 18, 2005. http://www.blacktable.com/lissner)51018 .htm Liu, Irene Jay.

Author: Jeff Deck

Publisher: Crown

ISBN: 0307591093

Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

Page: 288

View: 344

The signs of the times are missing apostrophes. The world needed a hero, but how would an editor with no off-switch answer the call? For Jeff Deck, the writing was literally on the wall: “NO TRESSPASSING.” In that moment, his greater purpose became clear. Dark hordes of typos had descended upon civilization… and only he could wield the marker to defeat them. Recruiting his friend Benjamin and other valiant companions, he created the Typo Eradication Advancement League (TEAL). Armed with markers, chalk, and correction fluid, they circumnavigated America, righting the glaring errors displayed in grocery stores, museums, malls, restaurants, mini-golf courses, beaches, and even a national park. Jeff and Benjamin championed the cause of clear communication, blogging about their adventures transforming horor into horror, it’s into its, and coconunut into coconut. But at the Grand Canyon, they took one correction too far: fixing the bad grammar in a fake Native American watchtower. The government charged them with defacing federal property and summoned them to court—with a typo-ridden complaint that claimed that they had violated “criminal statues.” Now the press turned these paragons of punctuation into “grammar vigilantes,” airing errors about their errant errand.. The radiant dream of TEAL would not fade, though. Beneath all those misspelled words and mislaid apostrophes, Jeff and Benjamin unearthed deeper dilemmas about education, race, history, and how we communicate. Ultimately their typo-hunting journey tells a larger story not just of proper punctuation but of the power of language and literacy—and the importance of always taking a second look.

Malignant Pessimism

Seriously, it's so fucking easy! Even if you just use the basics, it's a fucking start, fullstops, commas and apostrophes. As a proverb from Grammarly ...

Author: David Siôn

Publisher: Booktango

ISBN: 1468953451

Category: Humor

Page: 1

View: 546

A light-hearted, but hard-edged view about the many issues that we in the so-called "first world" face today; extremism in religion and gender; social media and cyber-bullying; and just about anything else the author can complain about.

Mother s Day

'Bastards think it's worseto have one psychoon the loose than loads of fucking nutters. ... A loop and a hook and a dropped apostrophe. Fucking bastards.

Author: Kirsty Scott

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1848948948

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 996

It's the first day of term and outside the school gates gossip hums, SUVs swarm and Boden abounds. And three very different mothers are about to discover that friends are the only accessories they need. Stay-at-home mum Gwen has three engaging kids and a blissful marriage to Rob. Her biggest worries are a bottom that sometimes keeps moving after she’s stopped and a toddler obsessed with reproductive organs - until two bombshells cause her perfect world to crumble. Working mum Alison is devoted to her daughter, but since juggling motherhood with a career has left her with cellulite to her Achilles, an iguana costume to make and a permanent headache, a larger family is the only thing NOT on her to-do list... Trophy wife Katherine seems rich, glamorous and carefree. In fact, her husband only ever touches her as he guides her into social functions like a butcher sliding a prime cut across a countertop... Her kids barely know she exists either. A deliciously warm, funny and moving take on being a mum, making new friends and dealing with the posturing and politics of the playground - something we never really leave behind...

The Narcissism of Small Differences

"There were like fifteen apostrophes on that billboard, not one of them used correctly. What is the fucking deal? Why is everyone apostrophizing so much now ...

Author: Michael Zadoorian

Publisher: Akashic Books

ISBN: 1617758256

Category: Fiction

Page: 263

View: 900

A comedy of compromise thaT “brims with wit, passion and soul” from the international bestselling author of Beautiful Music (The Millions, A Most Anticipated 2020 Book). Joe Keen and Ana Urbanek have been a couple for a long time, with all the requisite lulls and temptations, yet they remain unmarried and without children, contrary to their Midwestern values (and parents’ wishes). Now on the cusp of forty, they are both working at jobs that they’re not even sure they believe in anymore, but with significantly varying returns. Ana is successful, Joe is floundering—both in limbo, caught somewhere between mainstream and alternative culture, sincerity and irony, achievement and arrested development. Set against the backdrop of bottomed-out 2009 Detroit, a once-great American city now in transition, part decaying and part striving to be reborn, The Narcissism of Small Differences is the story of an aging creative class, doomed to ask the questions: Is it possible to outgrow irony? Does not having children make you one? Is there even such a thing as selling out anymore? “While everyone is trying so hard to act normal, The Narcissism of Small Differences revels in its own weirdness.” —Ben Folds, New York Times bestselling author/singer-songwriter “In a literary landscape where most are hell-bent on outplotting their peers, Michael Zadoorian has sculpted a thriller from everyday life.” —Josh Malermann, author of Bird Box “The Narcissism of Small Differences is one of [Zadoorian’s] best. He has become an essential chronicler of the life in Detroit at the beginning of our century.” —Stateside, Michigan Public Radio

How Perfect Is That

“I am not fucking going to be one of those 'the' bands just because your mother ... “Okay, but it has to be singular and there have to be two apostrophes.

Author: Sarah Bird

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 143912308X

Category: Fiction

Page: 336

View: 562

Happily entering Austin high society after marrying into a family that made her sign a strict prenuptial agreement, Blythe Young is dumped ten years later for another woman and is forced to take refuge at a housing co-op, where she reunites with the college roommate she had abandoned. Reprint.

A Map of the Harbor Islands

Five little letters and one fucking apostrophe but they come into me like a judo kick , like your mother just told you she's been turning tricks all these ...

Author: Joseph George Hayes

Publisher: Psychology Press

ISBN: 9781560235965

Category: Fiction

Page: 389

View: 366

A Map Of The Harbor Islands is the long-awaited novel from J. G. Hayes, the critically acclaimed bestselling author of This Thing Called Courage and Now Batting for Boston. This book charts the turbulent life courses of two South Boston friends, Danny O'Connor and Petey Harding, from their childhoods through their adult lives. `Golden Boy' Petey has it all going for him - brains, charisma and his close friendship with Danny. Then an accident on the baseball field changes everything. Petey wakes from a coma a different person, completely different from the boy Danny knew and loved. Gone are the old habits, the old joy of baseball, the old way of thinking. Petey is left with a stutter and a new appreciation for life that Danny sometimes just cannot understand. Petey begins to tell stories and make maps - dragging a grudging Danny along. Over the years Danny begins to understand Petey, and slowly, he also begins to learn more about himself. Then Petey confesses that he is gay, which sends Danny on an odyssey he never dreamed could happen. Petey's map is one of hope for Danny and him, to escape the urban ghetto of South Boston. They are two wayfaring friends who swear a love for one another until the very end. A Map Of The Harbor Islands carries the reader on a journey into the beauty of the world, physically and emotionally, along a current of love, friendship, self-growth and redemption.

Poets Writers

FUCKING GODDAMN , YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME , YOU COCKSUCKER ! ... For instance , people quite often ask me why I don't use apostrophes . I'm amazed .

Author:

Publisher:

ISBN:

Category: Authors, American

Page:

View: 622


The Happy Hack A Memoir of Fleet Street in its Heyday

'Which illiterate fucking idiot wrote this headline?' he demanded. 'I did,' I answered. 'Where's the apostrophe?' he thundered.

Author: Mike Molloy

Publisher: Kings Road Publishing

ISBN: 1786060515

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 300

View: 749

Today, Fleet Street is just a term for the newspaper business. But not so long ago it was a real place. Each paper had its own favourite pubs, its own extraordinary characters, and its own stock of legendary tales about the triumphs and disasters that had befallen friends and enemies. It was the Street of Dreams; the Street of Adventure; the Street of Disillusion and, in the end, sadly, the Street of Profits. But once upon a time it was a place of magic. Mike Molloy began in Fleet Street as a messenger boy on the Sunday Pictorial, and subsequently worked as a cartoonist, page designer, feature writer, and features executive. Eventually he was appointed the thirteenth and youngest editor of the Daily Mirror, a post he held for ten years. To his surprise, as he had opposed the take-over, when Robert Maxwell bought the Mirror, Maxwell made him editor-in-chief of the group. This is Molloy’s spellbinding, and often hilarious, account of his years working with some of the giants, and pygmies, who produced the nation’s daily papers. Along the way he tells of his encounters with politicians, prime ministers, rock stars, American presidents, trade union leaders, members of the royal family, and some of the legendary figures of show business. In the final sector of the book he charts his astonishingly surreal five years with Robert Maxwell, whose chaotic reign brought new heights of blundering absurdity to the role of the tyrannical ‘press lord’.


More Letters to Rollins

Five meetings of back and forth on that fucking apostrophe issue . And we decided it wasn't a possessive matter , that Rollins World was no different than ...

Author: Rob K. Overton

Publisher: Two Thirteen Sixty One Publications

ISBN:

Category: Humor

Page: 136

View: 722

In this long-awaited follow-up to Letters to Rollins, humorist R. K. Overton presents another assortment of hilarious letters sent to performer Henry Rollins. This new collection brings back the oddball cast of characters from the first book and introduces a whole new crew of self-appointed pen pals. Whether they are real fan letters or not, these missives perfectly depict what it's like to be on the receiving end of fame and/or disdain.