Sh t My Dad Says

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, the 29-year-old author moves in with his 73-year-old dad, whose straightforward, expletive-laden advice and opinions became a hit on Twitter and are now offered in a hilarious collection. 50 ...

Author: Justin Halpern

Publisher: It Books

ISBN: 9780061992704

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 158

View: 494

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, the 29-year-old author moves in with his 73-year-old dad, whose straightforward, expletive-laden advice and opinions became a hit on Twitter and are now offered in a hilarious collection. 50,000 first printing.

More Shit My Dad Says

' This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, a toe-curlingly honest pilgrim’s progress of teenage relationships, sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today.

Author: Justin Halpern

Publisher: Pan Macmillan

ISBN: 1447248953

Category: Humor

Page: 192

View: 510

‘Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a sh*tload scarier’ Sam Halpern Soon after Sh*t My Dad Says began to take off, comic writer Justin Halpern decided to take the plunge and propose to his then girlfriend. But before doing so, he asked his dad's advice, which was very, very simple (and surprisingly clean): 'Just take a day to think about it.' This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, a toe-curlingly honest pilgrim’s progress of teenage relationships, sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today. Sh*t people say about Justin Halpern: ‘Ridiculously hilarious’ Chelsea Handler ‘Shoot-beer-out-your-nose funny’ Maxim ‘Funny, silly, honest, lively and fresh’ Sunday Times

Shit My Dad Says

As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says... ‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times.

Author: Justin Halpern

Publisher: Pan Macmillan

ISBN: 0752227491

Category: Fiction

Page: 224

View: 602

'At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me...' Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost 1.5 million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says... ‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we’re not watching this bullshit.’ ‘Happy Birthday, I didn’t get you a present... Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then, too – unless it’s shitty.’ ‘Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.’ ‘The worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.’ ‘Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.’

Happy Father s Day shit my Dad Says

A child's relationship with her father is more important than we've ever realized.

Author: Second TEACHER

Publisher:

ISBN:

Category:

Page: 80

View: 705

A child's relationship with her father is more important than we've ever realized. To become strong and confident, children need their father's attention, wisdom, courage, and protection.Why is finding gifts for your dad so hard? Are you looking for a unique, personalized, make your own gift for your dad? If you're stuck on what to get, stop struggling. Here we are.You can gift a dream diary, a journal for reflective writing. Product Description: Measurements: 6×9 inches Page count:80 Material: Premium Quality PaperType: Paperback More useful than a card Soft matte cover for a luxurious feel Lined pages

Shit My Dad Says Father s Day Notebook

Creating just a little bit more output each day will yield amazing results, and a journal like this is your ticket to continuous laughs and good times - make it happen!

Author: Angelo Roxbury

Publisher:

ISBN: 9781794663985

Category:

Page: 120

View: 521

Do you want to document all the crazy things your dad says? Or looking for the ultimate father's day gift? That is why we created this Shit My Dad Says Father's Day Notebook: Remind Your Father How Great He Is With This Journal Log blank college ruled notebook - your dad will be rolling on the floor laughing when you whip this bad boy out! This modern and useful 6 x 9 inch (15.24 x 22.86 cm) blank journal tracker notebook has been specially hand-designed for every kind of father, from fulltime joker to passive aggressive. Each page is a chance to really stand out, document those million dollar quotations from daddy and grow your bond with your dad and whole family. The perfect companion for you when are out for dinner, camping trip, road trip, or even at home watching TV with the fam. Who knows the next crazy thing that will come out of your father's mouth next?! How does this father's quote notebook work? You can preview the layout in the "look inside" button at the top - but it is pretty practical and what blank. It can be used for years to crank out amazing content from the funny quotes your dad says on the holiday gatherings to remember again and again. Take out this father's day quote book on his special day Birthday parties are also good times to remind dad of some of the shit he has said Thanksgiving, Christmas, and any holiday gathering are perfect times to document what he has been saying. How does that sound? Using a daddy's quote notebook journal is a great way to ensure that each day you are writing, finding out when is the best time to have your pen out ready to quote him, and have a bit of fun too! See how many quotes you can crank out in one sitting and enjoy the results of more creative output from your dad and you with this fun little notebook. Who Is This Father's Day Journal For? Great gift for a dad to take to the office. Sure will get a lot of questions when he takes out the notebook Coaches too, they can enjoy the gags with this during training or game day. Kids can use this as evidence when their dad makes a promise you want to document! So what are you waiting for? Grab this practical and useful father's day notebook today and start generating quotes from him more in a systematized way. Creating just a little bit more output each day will yield amazing results, and a journal like this is your ticket to continuous laughs and good times - make it happen!

Shit My Dad Says

Henry (Jonathan Sadowski) gets laid off from his job and decides to see if he can borrow money from his father Ed (William Shatner).

Author: Dio Anthony Austi

Publisher:

ISBN:

Category:

Page: 32

View: 769

Henry (Jonathan Sadowski) gets laid off from his job and decides to see if he can borrow money from his father Ed (William Shatner). Meanwhile Ed must work to get his driver's license again after he forgot to renew it. Two other main characters, Vince (Will Sasso), Henry's brother and his wife Bonnie (Nicole Sullivan) also visit Ed and Henry from time to time.

I Suck at Girls

Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier." Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book.

Author: Justin Halpern

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0062113380

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 192

View: 918

From the #1 New York Times bestseller author of Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, comes a laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships with the opposite sex, from a first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between. With Sh*t My Dad Says, Halpern brought his brand of talented comedic writing to the world. Now, with this equally poignant, hilarious, and provocative memoir, he establishes himself as one of popular writing’s great humorists among the likes of David Sedaris, Sarah Vowell, and David Rakoff. Fans of biting, honor-infused memoirs such as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Assassination Vacation will find Halpern’s I Suck at Girls an unforgettable journey into the best and worst moments of one man’s adventures in romance.

Shit That I Can t Make Up And Other Stuff

In my case, there's shit that my dad says and then shit that I can't make up--and then there's other stuff that I can't make up, much for which I get a lot of shit.

Author: Nicole Czarnecki

Publisher:

ISBN: 9781973258735

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 34

View: 201

As I could be blue in the face for maintaining, I didn't make up any of what I've found out because I can't make--and couldn't have made--up that kind of stuff. In my case, there's shit that my dad says and then shit that I can't make up--and then there's other stuff that I can't make up, much for which I get a lot of shit.

Shit My Dad Says

Your dad has given several pearls of wisdom that you carry with you always, why don't write them down on this notebook !

Author: Youfi Notebooking

Publisher:

ISBN:

Category:

Page: 120

View: 680

Your dad has given several pearls of wisdom that you carry with you always, why don't write them down on this notebook !... Writing anything down makes us remember it better. Details : - Cover : Colors - Paper : White - Size : 6*9 inches - Pages : 120 Blank Notebooks Are Perfect For: - Stocking Stuffers & Gift Baskets - Graduation & End of School Year Gifts - Philosophy Classes - Psychology Classes - Diaries - Gifts For Writers - & much much more...

Funny Shit My Dad Says

Our notebook journals feature carefully designed artwork with an anti-scuff laminate cover.

Author: Creative Dreams Publishing

Publisher:

ISBN: 9781675230510

Category:

Page: 122

View: 125

Our notebook journals feature carefully designed artwork with an anti-scuff laminate cover. There is plenty of room inside for writing notes, stories, thoughts and ideas. It can be used as a notebook, journal, diary, or composition book. This 6" x 9" inch letter size paperback notebook 120 wide ruled pages (60 sheets).The high quality paper means minimal show-through even when you use different types of ink. They are a perfect gift idea for adults, kids, girls, boys, teens and tweens who love writing and journaling. Blank Notebooks Are ideal For: Graduation & End of School Year Gifts Stocking Stuffers & Gift Baskets Teacher Gifts Art Classes School Projects Diaries Gifts For Writers Summer Travel

I Suck at Girls Enhanced Edition

One day I decided to start chronicling the absurd things that came out of his
mouth in a Twitter feed called Shit My Dad Says. What began as an attempt to
take my mind off my heartache, and make a couple friends laugh, exploded:
within two ...

Author: Justin Halpern

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0062215728

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 192

View: 519

In I Suck at Girls, the enhanced e-book edition, Justin's famously opinionated father goes on camera for the first time, offering life advice on topics from marriage to profanity and debating the appeal of pornography in seven exclusive videos. Justin's father also tells his version of raising Justin with an essay written in prose as hilarious and poignant as his son's. In addition the enhanced e-book features nine exclusive photos from Justin's childhood. "Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier." Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book. The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe." But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should take a day off and think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters. I Suck at Girls is full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom. But it's also full of new characters just as funny as his dad—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals ("You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other. You each take off one piece of clothing at a time") to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today. Please note that due to the large file size of these special features this enhanced e-book may take longer to download then a standard e-book.

Funny Shit My Dad Says

Our notebook journals feature carefully designed artwork with an anti-scuff laminate cover.

Author: Creative Dreams Publishing

Publisher:

ISBN: 9781674979571

Category:

Page: 122

View: 271

Our notebook journals feature carefully designed artwork with an anti-scuff laminate cover. There is plenty of room inside for writing notes, stories, thoughts and ideas. It can be used as a notebook, journal, diary, or composition book. This 6" x 9" inch letter size paperback notebook 120 wide ruled pages (60 sheets).The high quality paper means minimal show-through even when you use different types of ink. They are a perfect gift idea for adults, kids, girls, boys, teens and tweens who love writing and journaling. Blank Notebooks Are ideal For: Graduation & End of School Year Gifts Stocking Stuffers & Gift Baskets Teacher Gifts Art Classes School Projects Diaries Gifts For Writers Summer Travel

Dad Jokes The Cheesy Edition

He has since added another nine platforms, including @PubityPets and monster meme page @Pubity with its 25 million followers. This is his third book. I TOLD MY WIFE SHE SHOULD EMBRACE HER MISTAKES. SHE GAVE ME A HUG.

Author: Dad Says Jokes

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1788402537

Category: Humor

Page: 272

View: 534

THE BESTSELLING SERIES The most followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @DadSaysJokes, returns with another collection of hilariously cringe-inducing gags for you to share with friends and family. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run Dad jokes network on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, with close to 3 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking influencer, started his career at the tender age of 14 when he created his original platform, Football.Newz. He has since added another nine platforms, including @PubityPets and monster meme page @Pubity with its 20 million followers. This is his third book. Q: What do you call 52 pieces of bread? A: A deck of carbs

New York

HIGHBROW • One out of every six seniors in Brooklyn has been victimized by a
financial scam . ... Amtrak says yes to Moynihan Station . ... The “ Shit My Dad
Says " Twitter feed : " Don't touch the bacon , it's not done yet . You let me handle
the ...

Author:

Publisher:

ISBN:

Category: New York (N.Y.)

Page:

View: 652


Shit My Dad s Dog Says

This book collects the insights and musings of Lexi-dog Lewis, as interpreted by John Hugh "Daddog" Lewis, in the first year of her life in the Lewis household.

Author: John Hugh Lewis

Publisher: Life by Design Institute

ISBN: 9780974374055

Category:

Page: 80

View: 932

This book collects the insights and musings of Lexi-dog Lewis, as interpreted by John Hugh "Daddog" Lewis, in the first year of her life in the Lewis household. It tells the story (in Dog Inglish) of how Lexi comes to claim and rule her domain, winning the hearts of everyone involved. Through a series of humorous and poignant commentaries on her daily experience, Lexi gives a dog's eye perspective on the life of a retired electrician, his wife (Momdog), friends, and children in their various adventures. Welcome to the world of Shit My Dad's Dog Says.

The Social Media Side Door How to Bypass the Gatekeepers to Gain Greater Access and Influence

It was a young college student with a Tumblr blog, and he was looking for an
upgrade. His blog was devoted to clean, Mormon-themed humor for the college
set; kind of a sanitized play on the “shit my dad says” meme. I thought, “There's
no ...

Author: Ian Greenleigh

Publisher: McGraw Hill Professional

ISBN: 0071816739

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 256

View: 391

"Skip the line at the front door! Learn to detect the hidden social media side doors that provide instant, privileged access to the top influencers and decision-makers in any industry Access is one of the great unexamined issues in social media. Barriers used to be everywhere, in the form of gatekeepers and rules that governed access to people with power, authority, budgets, expertise, and fame. But social media side doors--alternate avenues of access through social media--have opened all around us, and few have noticed.Through them, we can engage with top business executives, thought leaders, and tastemakers. We have the unique ability to draw the attention of people and organizations that are bombarded every day by countless competing traditional requests for consideration.In The Social Media Side Door, social media strategist Ian Greenleigh reveals how to walk right through the social media side doors that lie hidden in plain sight--to forge valuable relationships, create business opportunities, raise your thought leader profile, or land the perfect job. It will enable readers to expand their own means of access to those they wish to engage with, and the ways in which this access--in both directions--can be leveraged to unlock a new level of ROI.Ian Greenleigh is the Senior Manager of Content and Social Strategy at Bazaarvoice. His words and ideas have been featured in Harvard Business Review, AdAge, Adweek, Ragan, Seth Godin's The Domino Project, and elsewhere. He writes and speaks on a wide range of topics, including changing consumer-brand relationships, the convergence of personal identities, and the radically shifting landscapes of access and influence. Visit daretocomment.com and follow him at @be3d"--

Waving at the Gardener

He held up the cigarette . Too many of these . She nodded . Least it stopped him
talking . Nothing else would . He talked a lot of shit , my dad . Yeah ? I always
thought cancer would be slow , he said . A slow way to die . But it was really quick
.

Author: Kate Pullinger

Publisher: Bloomsbury UK

ISBN:

Category: English fiction

Page: 205

View: 758

'As a woman I have no country. As a woman my country is the whole world.' - Virginia Woolf Asham House in Sussex was once home to Virginia and Leonard Woolf and is the inspiration behind the Asham Award. Launched in 1996 to support and encourage new writers, it is Britain's only prize for short stories by women. Waving at the Gardenerpresents the twelve fresh, engaging and original voices shortlisted for the Asham Short-Story Award 2009, as well as six specially commissioned new stories by beloved authors Margaret Atwood, Esther Freud, Alison MacLeod and Yiyun Li.

Figuring Shit Out

She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter.

Author: Amy Biancolli

Publisher: Behler Publications, LLC

ISBN: 1933016469

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 245

View: 759

"Your life isn't over." My dad says this. "I mean, YOUR life isn't over. Beyond the kids. You'll go on living, doing things. This isn't it." I know, I assure him. I have the kids. They need me. They're my life now. "OK," he replies, then grunts—more of a brief hum. He only hums when he thinks I'm full of shit. Shockingly single. Amy Biancolli's life went off script more dramatically than most after her husband of twenty years jumped off the roof of a parking garage. Left with three children, a three-story house, and a pile of knotty psychological complications, Amy realizes the flooding dishwasher, dead car battery, rapidly growing lawn, basement sump pump, and broken doorknob aren't going to fix themselves. She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter. Amy Biancolli is an author and journalist whose column appears in the Albany Times Union. Before that, Amy served as film critic for the Houston Chronicle where her reviews, published around the country, won her the 2007 Comment and Criticism Award from the Texas Associated Press Managing Editors Association. Biancolli is the author of House of Holy Fools: A Family Portrait in Six Cracked Parts, which earned her Albany Author of the Year. Amy lives in Albany, New York, with her three children.

Turd Stain

If you liked the book- "Sh-t My Dad Says"- then you will love this book.

Author: J. L. Cooper

Publisher: CreateSpace

ISBN: 9781489579652

Category: Humor

Page: 146

View: 99

If you liked the book- "Sh-t My Dad Says"- then you will love this book. It's a collection of hilarious true stories, starting with the point of view of a kid, Jack, growing up with parents nuttier than rat shit in a Pistachio factory. The last half of the book is focused on Jack's LOL adult observations as left leg holder during the birth of his children, getting tricked into a vasectomy, getting fatter and uglier with age, and among other things, a marriage contract he negotiated with his wife to guarantee him sex.

The Rob Corddry Handbook Everything You Need to Know about Rob Corddry

He is also the creator and star of the Adult Swim comedy series Childrens Hospital; Corddry won his first Emmy Award for the series in September 2012. This book is your ultimate resource for Rob Corddry.

Author: Emily Smith

Publisher: Tebbo

ISBN: 9781488504051

Category:

Page: 218

View: 782

Robert William "Rob" Corddry (born February 4, 1971) is an American actor and comedian. He is known for his work as a correspondent on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (2002-2006) and for his starring role in the comedy film Hot Tub Time Machine (2010). He is also the creator and star of the Adult Swim comedy series Childrens Hospital; Corddry won his first Emmy Award for the series in September 2012. This book is your ultimate resource for Rob Corddry. Here you will find the most up-to-date information, photos, and much more. In easy to read chapters, with extensive references and links to get you to know all there is to know about Rob Corddry's Early life, Career and Personal life right away. A quick look inside: Rob Corddry, America (The Book), Anytime with Bob Kushell, Ari Fleischer, Ben and Kate, Blades of Glory, Brian Huskey, Busboy Productions, Cedar Rapids (film), Childrens Hospital, Ed Helms, Escape from Planet Earth, Failure to Launch, Happy Endings (TV series), Hell Baby, Hot Tub Time Machine, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Jon Stewart, Justin Halpern, Lower Learning, Nate Corddry, Old School (film), Operation: Endgame, Rob Riggle, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, Semi-Pro, Seth Morris, Shit My Dad Says, Stephen Colbert, Taking Chances (film), The Daily Show, The Ten, List of The Daily Show recurring segments, Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre...and more pages Contains selected content from the highest rated entries, typeset, printed and shipped, combining the advantages of up-to-date and in-depth knowledge with the convenience of printed books. A portion of the proceeds of each book will be donated to the Wikimedia Foundation to support their mission.