Sh t My Dad Says

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, the 29-year-old author moves in with his 73-year-old dad, whose straightforward, expletive-laden advice and opinions became a hit on Twitter and are now offered in a hilarious collection. 50 ...

Author: Justin Halpern

Publisher: It Books

ISBN: 9780061992704

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 158

View: 956

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, the 29-year-old author moves in with his 73-year-old dad, whose straightforward, expletive-laden advice and opinions became a hit on Twitter and are now offered in a hilarious collection. 50,000 first printing.

More Shit My Dad Says

' This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, a toe-curlingly honest pilgrim’s progress of teenage relationships, sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today.

Author: Justin Halpern

Publisher: Pan Macmillan

ISBN: 1447248953

Category: Humor

Page: 192

View: 107

‘Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a sh*tload scarier’ Sam Halpern Soon after Sh*t My Dad Says began to take off, comic writer Justin Halpern decided to take the plunge and propose to his then girlfriend. But before doing so, he asked his dad's advice, which was very, very simple (and surprisingly clean): 'Just take a day to think about it.' This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, a toe-curlingly honest pilgrim’s progress of teenage relationships, sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today. Sh*t people say about Justin Halpern: ‘Ridiculously hilarious’ Chelsea Handler ‘Shoot-beer-out-your-nose funny’ Maxim ‘Funny, silly, honest, lively and fresh’ Sunday Times

Shit My Dad Says

As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says... ‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times.

Author: Justin Halpern

Publisher: Pan Macmillan

ISBN: 0752227491

Category: Fiction

Page: 224

View: 695

'At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me...' Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost 1.5 million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says... ‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we’re not watching this bullshit.’ ‘Happy Birthday, I didn’t get you a present... Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then, too – unless it’s shitty.’ ‘Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.’ ‘The worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.’ ‘Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.’

Shit my dad says

Portret van de eigenzinnige vader van de schrijver, met gepeperde uitspraken van senior die junior via tweets verspreidde.

Author: Justin Halpern

Publisher:

ISBN: 9789044617498

Category:

Page: 181

View: 608

Portret van de eigenzinnige vader van de schrijver, met gepeperde uitspraken van senior die junior via tweets verspreidde.

The Routledge Companion to Asian American Media

This is based on the memes “Shit My Dad Says” and “Shit Girls Say,” which are broader in scope but use the same tone and style of editing for comedic effect. Both of these memes circulated widely; in fact, the Twitter account for “Shit ...

Author: Lori Kido Lopez

Publisher: Routledge

ISBN: 1317540832

Category: Social Science

Page: 268

View: 248

The Routledge Companion to Asian American Media offers readers a comprehensive examination of the way that Asian Americans have engaged with media, from the long history of Asian American actors and stories that have been featured in mainstream film and television, to the birth and development of a distinctly Asian American cinema, to the ever-shifting frontiers of Asian American digital media. Contributor essays focus on new approaches to the study of Asian American media including explorations of transnational and diasporic media, studies of intersectional identities encompassed by queer or mixed race Asian Americans, and examinations of new media practices that challenge notions of representation, participation, and community. Expertly organized to represent work across disciplines, this companion is an essential reference for the study of Asian American media and cultural studies.

Social Media Is Bullshit

Before the Shit My Dad Says Twitter feed took off, Justin Halpern, reportedly “unemployed,” was actually managing editor for Break Media's Holy Taco.com (later a senior editor at Maxim.com). Between Halpern's contacts from working with ...

Author: B. J. Mendelson

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

ISBN: 1250017505

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 240

View: 718

A provocative look at social media that dispels the hype and tells you all you need to know about using the Web to expand your business If you listen to the pundits, Internet gurus, marketing consultants, and even the mainstream media, you could think social media was the second coming. When it comes to business, they declare that it's revolutionizing advertising, PR, customer relations—everything. And they all agree: it is here to stay. In this lively, insightful guide, journalist and social critic B.J. Mendelson skillfully debunks the myths of social media. He illustrates how the notion of "social media" first came to prominence, why it has become such a powerful presence in the marketing field, and who stands to benefit each time it's touted in the press. He shows you why all the Facebook friends and Twitter followers in the world mean nothing to you and your business without old-fashioned, real-world connections. He examines popular tales of social media "success," and reveals some unsettling truths behind the surface. And he tells you how to best harness the potential of the Internet—without spending a fortune in the process. Social media is bullshit. This book gives the knowledge and tools you really need to connect with customers and grow your brand.

The Case of Billy B

In fact, if they peel off my skin, they might see that I'm green inside, like The Hulk. I like saying shit. Of course, if Kelli hears me say it, she'll put hot chili sauce on my tongue. Happy people never say shit. My Dad says it all ...

Author: Cindy Vine

Publisher: Cindy van den Heuvel

ISBN: 1449980414

Category: Fiction

Page: 286

View: 321

A young boy and his father encounter immense challenges as they struggle to find love and acceptance in an unforgiving world. Abandoned by his own mother, rejected by all but his loving father, Billy B is thrust into a silent hell alone, branded a freak and a misfit. Billy becomes the ultimate life spectator in a game of survival. Who can he count on to save him, when all seems lost?

Dagger Hill

Just stupid kid shit, my dad says sometimes, chuckling from behind the morning paper. Is this stupid kid shit that we're in now? For a moment, I'm not sure. But then Dad answers the unasked question by putting his cheek to mine, ...

Author: Devon Taylor

Publisher: Swoon Reads

ISBN: 1250763363

Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page: 304

View: 821

Stranger Things meets One of Us Is Lying in Devon Taylor's creepy paranormal mystery about four friends who find themselves hunted by a malevolent presence in their sleepy hometown. It knows your fear... Summer, 1989. Four best friends—Gabe, Kimberly, Charlie, and Sonya—are preparing for their last summer together before senior year, after which they’ll all be splitting up to start college in different parts of the country. They make a promise to always find their way back to each other, no matter how far away from their sleepy Pennsylvania hometown they get. But their plans are destroyed when a plane crashes right on top of their favorite hangout outside of town—and right on top of them. In the catastrophic aftermath of the incident, Gabe, Sonya and Charlie are plagued by eerie visions and messages from an unknown watcher. They soon realize that the plane crash was no accident, and now they are being hunted by a sinister presence. And everyone is still searching for Kimberly, who has been missing ever since Gabe saw somebody wearing a gas mask carry her out of the woods the day the sky fell down on them... Praise for Dagger Hill: "A wild and satisfying romp through small town friendships, government conspiracies, bloody histories, long-kept secrets—and all of your deepest, darkest fears." —Katrina Leno, author of Horrid "Visceral ... a jolting read in the style of Stephen King—one with plenty of 1980s nostalgia and a tender LGBTQ romance." —Publishers Weekly

Vinoteq

“Hey, Parker, I hear your dad is a chicken shit!” the bigger boy said. ... worth a shit! My dad says so,” the older boy insisted. ... Well, my dad can kick your dad's ass, and I can kick your ass, and the monster's gonna eat you, too!

Author:

Publisher:

ISBN:

Category:

Page: 229

View: 468

Información específica sobre viticultura y elaboración del vino, gestión y dirección empresarial y todo lo necesario para comercializar con éxito bodegas y vinos.

The Muse Chronicles Books 1 3

Leo says loudly. “We missed you at the show tonight!” “We rocked that shit!” Jake exclaims. My dad doesn't say anything. “Are you okay, Dad?” I ask. “Yeah, I'm fine,” he says. “Just had a little too much to drink. Spare me the lecture.

Author: Sara Crawford

Publisher: Sara Crawford

ISBN:

Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page:

View: 345

What could you create if you fell in love with a Muse? 16-year-old musician, Sylvia Baker, has always been different. She's the only one who can see the "flickering people." When she sees a gorgeous flickering man named Vincent, she learns that they are Muses. With his help, she finds herself creating exquisite songs that she loves almost as much as songs by her favorite bands--Radiohead, M83, and The Black Keys--and she is falling in love in a way she never knew was possible. While trying to maintain her newfound friendships and her band, she falls deeper into the world of the Muses. When the original Greek Muses wake to find a world in which the internet has given everyone the tools to be an artist, a battle between traditional and new methods of creation ensues. As Sylvia discovers how she is connected to the world of the Muses, she learns that this war may put her music, her love, her very life at stake. Book 1 of this young adult urban fantasy romance was a semi-finalist in the YA Books Central 2017 Awards in the "All the Feels" category

The Indecent Screen

Rehearsing for her role as the flower girl in an upcoming wedding, Lily suddenly exclaims, “Oh, [bleep]!” Her utterance ... Within weeks, Halpern had almost 800,000 followers, a book deal, and a sitcom in development.51 Shit My Dad Says ...

Author: Cynthia Chris

Publisher: Rutgers University Press

ISBN: 0813594081

Category: Performing Arts

Page: 236

View: 939

The Indecent Screen explores clashes over indecency in broadcast television among U.S.-based media advocates, television professionals, the Federal Communications Commission, and TV audiences. Cynthia Chris focuses on the decency debates during an approximately twenty-year period since the Telecommunications Act of 1996, which in many ways restructured the media environment. Simultaneously, ever increasing channel capacity, new forms of distribution, and time-shifting (in the form of streaming and on-demand viewing options) radically changed how, when, and what we watch. But instead of these innovations quelling concerns that TV networks were too often transmitting indecent material that was accessible to children, complaints about indecency skyrocketed soon after the turn of the century. Chris demonstrates that these clashes are significant battles over the role of family, the role of government, and the value of free speech in our lives, arguing that an uncensored media is so imperative to the public good that we can, and must, endure the occasional indecent screen.

Shit That I Can t Make Up And Other Stuff

In my case, there's shit that my dad says and then shit that I can't make up--and then there's other stuff that I can't make up, much for which I get a lot of shit.

Author: Nicole Czarnecki

Publisher:

ISBN: 9781973258735

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 34

View: 324

As I could be blue in the face for maintaining, I didn't make up any of what I've found out because I can't make--and couldn't have made--up that kind of stuff. In my case, there's shit that my dad says and then shit that I can't make up--and then there's other stuff that I can't make up, much for which I get a lot of shit.

I Suck at Girls Enhanced Edition

One day I decided to start chronicling the absurd things that came out of his mouth in a Twitter feed called Shit My Dad Says. What began as an attempt to take my mind off my heartache, and make a couple friends laugh, exploded: within ...

Author: Justin Halpern

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0062215728

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 192

View: 822

In I Suck at Girls, the enhanced e-book edition, Justin's famously opinionated father goes on camera for the first time, offering life advice on topics from marriage to profanity and debating the appeal of pornography in seven exclusive videos. Justin's father also tells his version of raising Justin with an essay written in prose as hilarious and poignant as his son's. In addition the enhanced e-book features nine exclusive photos from Justin's childhood. "Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier." Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book. The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe." But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should take a day off and think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters. I Suck at Girls is full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom. But it's also full of new characters just as funny as his dad—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals ("You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other. You each take off one piece of clothing at a time") to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today. Please note that due to the large file size of these special features this enhanced e-book may take longer to download then a standard e-book.

I Suck at Girls

Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier." Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book.

Author: Justin Halpern

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0062113380

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 192

View: 283

From the #1 New York Times bestseller author of Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, comes a laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships with the opposite sex, from a first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between. With Sh*t My Dad Says, Halpern brought his brand of talented comedic writing to the world. Now, with this equally poignant, hilarious, and provocative memoir, he establishes himself as one of popular writing’s great humorists among the likes of David Sedaris, Sarah Vowell, and David Rakoff. Fans of biting, honor-infused memoirs such as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Assassination Vacation will find Halpern’s I Suck at Girls an unforgettable journey into the best and worst moments of one man’s adventures in romance.

Without Merit

My father rolls down the window. “Oh, no,” Sagan says. “What? ... “Dad,” I say, not wanting him to do anything stupid. ... “Yeah, well . . . hindsight and all that shit,” my dad says. He waves his hand to Utah. “Let's go.

Author: Colleen Hoover

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1471171884

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 614

From the No. 1 New York Times bestselling author of It Ends With Us and November 9 comes a moving and haunting novel of family, love, and the power of the truth. 'Not every mistake deserves a consequence. Sometimes the only thing it deserves is forgiveness.' The Voss family is anything but normal. They live in a repurposed church, newly baptized Dollar Voss. The once cancer-stricken mother lives in the basement, the father is married to the mother’s former nurse, the little half-brother isn’t allowed to do or eat anything fun, and the eldest siblings are irritatingly perfect. Then, there’s Merit. Merit Voss collects trophies she hasn’t earned and secrets her family forces her to keep. While browsing the local antiques shop for her next trophy, she finds Sagan. His wit and unapologetic idealism disarm and spark renewed life into her - until she discovers that he’s completely unavailable. Merit retreats deeper into herself, watching her family from the sidelines, when she learns a secret that no trophy in the world can fix. Fed up with the lies, Merit decides to shatter the happy family illusion that she’s never been a part of before leaving them behind for good. When her escape plan fails, Merit is forced to deal with the staggering consequences of telling the truth and losing the one boy she loves. Poignant and powerful, Without Merit explores the layers of lies that tie a family together and the power of love and truth. 'Emotionally wrenching and utterly original, Without Merit’s characters stayed with me long after I finished' Sara Shepard, New York Times bestselling author of Pretty Little Liars

Goodbye Teddy

Stupid little shit my dad says. He is right. I say it to myself when the spring is in my leg. It's what I deserve for being so bad. The crying gets loud and the spring doesn't hurt enough. I do it faster to make it hurt; ...

Author: J D Stockholm

Publisher: Lulu.com

ISBN: 1291544623

Category:

Page:

View: 697


You and the Night

My dad stops to talk to his sponsor for a moment, and I scroll through my phone absentmindedly. ... “Shit!” my dad yells. “You've got to stop doing that, man. Appearing out of thin air.” “Sorry, sir,” Vincent says. “Don't call me that.

Author: Sara Crawford

Publisher: Sara Crawford

ISBN:

Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page:

View: 101

How far would you go to protect the world of Art? Musician, Sylvia Baker, has been through a lot to find her place in the world of the Muses. She's always seen these mysterious beings as they Inspire artists, which led her to stay in a psychiatric hospital multiple times and question her own sanity. She's finally accepted the Muses and her connection to them, and she's fallen in love with her Muse, Vincent, as they create music together. She even climbed Mount Olympus to save him. But while she was in the Village of the Gods, she managed to wake Ares, the God of War. Ares latches onto a conflict between the traditional and modern Muses, starting a war between them. As the war rages on, it threatens Sylvia, Vincent, and all the Muses she has come to love. But when she discovers she may be the key to ending the war, she has an impossible decision to make before Ares and his followers destroy everything. Fans of The Mortal Instruments and Daughter of Smoke and Bone will love the exciting conclusion to The Muse Chronicles trilogy.

The Marriage Mistake

Dad's eyebrows go up so high they're in danger of climbing over the back of his head. ... I blink, my mind freezing up when my sweet, buttoned-up stepmother drops an f-bomb. “Oh shit,” my dad says in a hushed breath.

Author: Jess Fox

Publisher: Jess Fox

ISBN:

Category: Fiction

Page:

View: 962

What happens when two best friends become bride and groom? Standalone Romance with an HEA! Darcy Ryan is starting to wonder if she’s a magnet for the wrong kind of luck. No matter how many times she dates, it always ends up in disaster. To make matters worse, her family’s constant judgment on the state of her life — and her career — is pushing her to the breaking point. Her best friend Lucas Vaughn is not interested in a relationship. He’s seen how things can end and isn’t about to open himself up to the kind of hurt that comes when the person you love leaves you. But hanging on to his single status is holding him back in more ways than one. Then they stumble on the perfect solution. They already live together, so why not just get married for six months? It’ll get everyone off their backs, help their careers, and give them a break from the singles scene. Everybody wins. Their plan seems flawless, but the one thing they don’t plan for? Falling in love. The Marriage Mistake is a steamy, funny full-length romantic comedy with friends-to-lovers, marriage of convenience, only one bed, hijinks, shenanigans, and heart.

Falling for Forever

“Holy shit,” my dad says. We wind up a driveway toward a white brick and stone mansion with ivy crawling over it. A smaller house sits off to the side of it that might be bigger than our Cliff Ridge house. “This is your songwriting ...

Author: Melissa Chambers

Publisher: Entangled: Teen

ISBN: 1640631348

Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page: 385

View: 512

The second Jenna Quigley turns eighteen, she’s headed to L.A. to extend the timer on her fifteen minutes of fame. Too bad her dad made her promise to graduate high school first. Silver lining? Her new school has a serious talent competition with a $25,000 cash prize, which would go a long way in L.A. Jenna’s got plenty of talent—she didn’t almost win America’s Newest Sensation for nothing. But it’ll take everything she’s got to bring down the music nerd with a stick up his butt...no matter how cute he is in those glasses. Miles Cleveland needs to win that talent contest. When some hot girl stole his audition spot on America’s Newest Sensation, his chance to study music flounced off to New York with her. Now, not only can he win enough money to pay for his education, he can get revenge on that very same girl. He can’t start to question his plan, though...no matter how deep Jenna buries into his heart. Each book in the A Before Forever series is a standalone story that can be enjoyed out of order. Series Order: Book #1 The Summer Before Forever Book #2 Falling for Forever

The River

Seems one of his stories stuck with me...” Siobhan, Aiden and I all wait for Kirsty to continue, but her brief pause becomes a slight delay and nears total cancellation. “Come on! You can't stop there.” “It's just some shit my Dad told ...

Author: Andrew J Knight

Publisher: Lulu.com

ISBN: 129148583X

Category:

Page:

View: 143