The All or Nothing Marriage

Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try ...

Author: Eli J. Finkel

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 0698411455

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 352

View: 757

“After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now...”—Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages—from the “traditional” to the utterly nontraditional—and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try “lovehacks.” This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.

The All for Nothing Marriage

Here is a step-by-step strategies for neutralizing your marital problems with a redemptive mindset, one that will turn a mediocre marriage into a remarkable one.

Author: Daniel Zopoula

Publisher: FriesenPress

ISBN: 1525552236

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 162

View: 481

Rather than being a source of joy, your marriage can destroy your quality of life, causing silent frustration and catastrophic disappointment. But every couple is entitled to a meaningful marriage filled with passion, intimacy, and shared purpose. The All-for-Nothing Marriage is a highly practical tool designed to help couples identify a path for achieving just those things. Drawing in his experience and a guiding faith, Daniel will walk you through the philosophy underlying his unique take on today’s marriage solutions with brilliant insights, personal reflections and practical advice to show how any marriage can be better. The book is divided into two intuitive sections: Part One explores the internal workings of a marriage; Part Two challenges readers to implement four practical steps to rekindle the core connection which results in phenomenal love and ultimate fulfillment in life. Here is a step-by-step strategies for neutralizing your marital problems with a redemptive mindset, one that will turn a mediocre marriage into a remarkable one. Here is a paradigm-shifting approach to recalibrate your expectations, increase intimacy and emotional togetherness, make the most of your relationship, live a better story and experience a meaningful life. Whether you are married, would-be-married, or, just looking for illuminating advice, The All-for-Nothing Marriage will forever transform your understanding of the anatomy of marriage, and the unique value you bring to a relationship that’s critical to so many people’s lives.

The Second Mountain

“I was trying to think of the worst fight” Ibid., 313. ... “Expressive individualism” Eli J. Finkel, The All-or-Nothing Marriage (New York: Dutton, 2017), ...

Author: David Brooks

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 0241400694

Category: Self-Help

Page: 384

View: 193

NO.1 BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF THE SOCIAL ANIMAL Are you on your first or second mountain? Is life about you - or others? About success - or something deeper? The world tells us that we should pursue our self-interest: career wins, high status, nice things. These are the goals of our first mountain. But at some point in our lives we might find that we're not interested in what other people tell us to want. We want the things that are truly worth wanting. This is the second mountain. What does it mean to look beyond yourself and find a moral cause? To forget about independence and discover dependence - to be utterly enmeshed in a web of warm relationships? What does it mean to value intimacy, devotion, responsibility and commitment above individual freedom? In The Second Mountain David Brooks explores the meaning and possibilities that scaling a second mountain offer us and the four commitments that most commonly move us there: family, vocation, philosophy and community. Inspiring, personal and full of joy, this book will help you discover why you were really put on this earth.

Shades of Springsteen

“Reflection: Sports and Ideological Contradictions: Learning from the Cultural Framing of ... The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work.

Author: John Massaro

Publisher: Rutgers University Press

ISBN: 1978816189

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 246

View: 758

One of the secrets to Bruce Springsteen’s enduring popularity over the past fifty years is the way fans feel a deep personal connection to his work. Yet even as the connection often stays grounded in details from his New Jersey upbringing, Springsteen’s music references a rich array of personalities from John Steinbeck to Amadou Diallo and beyond, inspiring fans to seek out and connect with a whole world’s worth of art, literature, and life stories. In this unique blend of memoir and musical analysis, John Massaro reflects on his experiences as a lifelong fan of The Boss and one of the first professors to design a college course on Springsteen’s work. Focusing on five of the Jersey rocker’s main themes—love, masculinity, sports, politics, and the power of music—he shows how they are represented in Springsteen’s lyrics and shares stories from his own life that powerfully resonate with those lyrics. Meanwhile, paying tribute to Springsteen’s inclusive vision, he draws connections among figures as seemingly disparate as James Joyce, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Thomas Aquinas, Bobby Darin, and Lin-Manuel Miranda. Shades of Springsteen offers a deeply personal take on the musical and cultural legacies of an American icon.

The Marriage and Family Experience Intimate Relationships in a Changing Society

more economic resources before marriage and/or have qualities that are ... Finkel refers to “the all-or-nothingmarriage, tracing its emergence to the ...

Author: Bryan Strong

Publisher: Cengage Learning

ISBN: 1305856341

Category: Social Science

Page: 640

View: 869

THE MARRIAGE & FAMILY EXPERIENCE: INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS IN A CHANGING SOCIETY brings together all elements of the course -- including intimate relationships, family policy, and family issues. Striking a balance between an academic and more functional approach, the authors draw from research to present a sound sociological and family studies base enhanced by perspectives from anthropology, history, psychology, journalism, literature, economics, and gender studies. The book explores recent research on topics such as adoptive parenting, the transgender experience, childbearing patterns, gay and lesbian families, communication and conflict resolution, the influence of popular culture, and working families. Real-life examples and a focus on self-assessment and reflection make the book accessible and encourage students to think and act for themselves. The thirteenth edition retains a progressive approach to diversity yet remains rooted in a positive, pro-family perspective. Important Notice: Media content referenced within the product description or the product text may not be available in the ebook version.

The Romantic Lives of Emerging Adults

Tradition, commitment, and individualism in American marriages. Psychological Inquiry, 25(1), ... The all-or-nothing marriage: How the best marriages work.

Author: Varda Konstam

Publisher: Oxford University Press

ISBN: 0190639784

Category: Psychology

Page: 272

View: 122

The romantic lives of emerging adults are often baffling and contradictory. While they prize committed and authentic relationships, they appear to be reluctant participants. They prefer to foster ambiguity in their romantic relationships, even as they value honesty and clarity. There is, at once, a valuing of long-term as well as a decentering of romantic relationships. Although our current understanding is incomplete, this text grapples with these perplexing questions. In attempting to understand emerging adults and their romantic lives, researchers must consider the challenging economic conditions in which today's emerging adults find themselves. With an emphasis on commitment and sacrifice and their centrality to one's readiness for a long-term relationship, this book reviews the main milestones in transitioning from an "I" identity to a "we" identity and discusses the concepts of choice and risk. Further, the book examines structures such as asymmetrically committed relationships, cohabitation, and marriage through the lens of commitment, risk, and risk avoidance. Probing extensively into the romantic lives of emerging adults -- their attitudes, values and expectations -- this text examines some of the developmental and contextual realities against which romantic attachment must be viewed. Critical topics such as casual and sexual experiences and relationships, integration of work and love, breakups, marriage, going solo, and social media and its influences are considered. The commonality and the individuality of the emerging adults presented throughout this text contribute to a rich understanding of emerging adults and how they live and love.

The Marriage and Family Experience Intimate Relationships in a Changing Society

-surveys/demo/tables/families/time-series/marital/ms1.xls. ———. 2017. The All or Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work. New York: Dutton Press.

Author: Theodore F. Cohen

Publisher: Cengage Learning

ISBN: 035737830X

Category: Social Science

Page: 640

View: 845

Updated with the latest data and research, Cohen/Strong's THE MARRIAGE & FAMILY EXPERIENCE: INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS IN A CHANGING SOCIETY offers a realistic look at modern relationships, helping you understand the underlying issues at work in marriages, families and other relationships. It explores adoptive parenting, childbearing patterns, gay and lesbian families, the transgender experience, virginity, gender roles, communication and conflict resolution, the influence of popular culture, working families and more. Thorough coverage reflects the diversity of families and relationships, illustrating how racial, cultural, economic and sexual differences shape relationships and families. Real-life, cross-cultural examples and self-assessment features encourage you to reflect on your own life and behaviors. The book's straightforward overview of key topics helps you maximize your course success. Important Notice: Media content referenced within the product description or the product text may not be available in the ebook version.

Narrating Midlife

The alternate ideology, emanating from the free-love philosophies of the 1960s and beyond, stresses individual ... In his book The All-or-Nothing Marriage ...

Author: Christine Elizabeth Kiesinger

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield

ISBN: 149858411X

Category: Social Science

Page: 238

View: 625

Narrating Midlife: Crisis, Transition, and Transformation explores how managing and living through change at midlife is ultimately a communicative endeavor. Using autoethnography, contributors narrate midlife experiences as diverse as the empty-nest, sexual fluidity, mixed-retirement marriage, spousal abduction of a child, and cancer.

There Are No Grown Ups

Finkel, Eli J. “The All-or-Nothing Marriage.” New York Times, February 14, 2014. Finkel, Eli J., Elaine O. Cheung, Lydia F. Emery, Kathleen L. Carswell, ...

Author: Pamela Druckerman

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1473510635

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 288

View: 686

*MUCH RAVED ABOUT BY CHRIS EVANS ON HIS BBC RADIO 2 BREAKFAST SHOW* EVERYONE ELSE IS WINGING IT TOO. You know you're a grown-up when... ·You become impatient while scrolling down to your year of birth. · You’ve lost and gained the same 10lbs so many times you now regard it as an old friend. · Your parents have stopped trying to change you. · You don't want to be with the cool people anymore; you want to be with your people. · You know that 'Soul mate' isn't a pre-existing condition. It's earned over time. Does it ever feel like everyone - except you - is a bona-fide adult? Do you wonder how real grown-ups get to be so mysteriously capable and wise? When she turns 40, Pamela Druckerman - author of the #1 Sunday Times bestseller French Children Don't Throw Food - wonders whether her mind will ever catch up with her face. Waiters start calling her ‘Madame’, and she detects a disturbing new message in mens' gazes: I would sleep with her, but only if doing so required no effort whatsoever. There Are No Grown-Ups is a midlife coming-of-age story, a hilarious quest for wisdom, self-knowledge and the right pair of pants. It's a book for readers of all ages about - finally - becoming yourself

Couple Therapy

The all-or-nothing marriage: How the best marriages work. New York, NY: Dutton. Gillet, R. (2017, February 13). Power couples who stay together have 9 ...

Author: Len Sperry

Publisher: Routledge

ISBN: 1351051571

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 406

View: 603

This new edition of Couples Therapy tackles four challenges currently facing the field: (1) accountability and the increasing demands for demonstrating effectiveness as a condition for reimbursement, (2) the need for practitioners to reconfigure their practice patterns in an ever-involving health-care system, (3) training mental health practitioners who have not completed marital and family therapy (MFT) programs, and (4) integrating new couples approaches and interventions into everyday clinical practice. The book offers a focused vision and successful strategies for working effectively with couples, both today and tomorrow. It incorporates the best insights from the neurosciences as well as new couples theories, research, and evidence-based interventions, introducing approaches including psychoanalytic, systemic, cognitive behavioral, Adlerian, constructivist, third wave, integrative, and mindfulness-based. Chapters also present practical applications and professional considerations, with a comprehensive look at how to work with diverse issues in couples therapy, such as substance abuse, domestic violence, sexual dysfunction, infidelity, aging, and much more. This third edition of Couples Therapy is an essential resource for students as well as mental health practitioners, social workers, and family counselors who are keen to better meet the needs of couples and the demands of the changing healthcare landscape.

Your One Wild and Precious Life

Once, getting married was the gateway to full adult status, to setting up home, ... Eli Finkel of Northwestern University, is the 'all-or-nothing marriage'.

Author: Maureen Gaffney

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 0241988780

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 416

View: 418

Middle-age is cross-roadsy - having arrived, you're looking back in wonder about how you got here, and also looking ahead, thinking: where to next? The realisation that neither time nor choices are limitless is both daunting and exciting - this is the moment to take stock and figure out how to make the best of every precious moment of your second act. Your One Wild and Precious Life is an eye-opening account of this vital and surprisingly liberating life-stage. Crucially, it sets out how you can transform your thinking to reclaim control over your life, connect with who you truly are and face the future with joy and a sense of purpose. This is both radical and reassuring - a book to fundamentally alter your relationship with time and to help you to understand that every age can be your best age. This is an invitation to whole-life living and it can start right now.

The Disordered Couple

Myth 1: All Couples' Basic Needs Are Essentially the Same Irrespective of Race, ... Dr. Eli Finkel's book The All or Nothing Marriage (2017) demonstrates ...

Author: Len Sperry

Publisher: Routledge

ISBN: 1351264028

Category: Psychology

Page: 336

View: 563

The Disordered Couple, Second Edition, focuses on couples with psychiatric disorders and/or relational disorders that significantly impact their relationship, mental health, and well-being. It is the first and only book to provide mental health professionals and trainees with cutting-edge, culturally sensitive, and evidence-based clinical strategies for working effectively with disordered couples. While maintaining its focus on disordered couples, this second edition adds several new features and considers key trends that have impacted the structure of couples and families since the original edition appeared, including the influence of social media and technology, legalization of same-sex marriage, increases in the availability of Internet pornography, and changes in societal norms regarding romantic relationships. The disorders covered reflect revisions to the DSM-5 and both psychiatric disorders and relational disorders, and the book highlights clinically relevant and culturally sensitive intervention practices for working with a wide variety of disordered couples. Chapters also include a section on specific multicultural implications for the type of couple discussed. With proven strategies for effectively assessing, conceptualizing, and implementing treatment with disordered couples, this book is an essential reference for marital, clinical, counseling, and psychiatry professionals, as well as trainees in these areas. The Disordered Couple, Second Edition, will be of great assistance to mental health professionals in providing disordered couples with the most up-to-date, culturally sensitive, and relevant clinical care.

Theory and Practice of Couples and Family Counseling

(Berg, 2002) The counselor and the husband discussed everything from giving ... is the foundation for what is called the all-or-nothing marriage (Finkel, ...

Author: James Robert Bitter

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

ISBN: 111968515X

Category: Education

Page:

View: 948

This introduction to couples and family counseling lays the foundation for student skill-building by encouraging the development of personal, professional, and ethical standards of practice. This third edition has been expanded to include couples counseling and updated to reflect recent research and current practice. Primary text features include a genogram delineating the history of the field; a comprehensive discussion of 13 widely used theories with real-life examples of quality work for each approach; a single, bicultural couple/family system case for comparison across models; and strategies for the integration and application of the models into clinical practice with diverse clients. To help readers apply the concepts they have learned, Dr. Bitter provides numerous Illustrative examples, case studies, sample client dialogues, and exercises for personal and professional growth. *Requests for digital versions from ACA can be found on www.wiley.com. *To purchase print copies, please visit the ACA website here *Reproduction requests for material from books published by ACA should be directed to [email protected]

The Arc of Love

Neuroendocrinology Letters 26:264–67. Etcoff, N. 1999. Survival of the prettiest. New York: Doubleday. Finkel, E. J. 2017. The all-or-nothing marriage.

Author: Aaron Ben-Ze'ev

Publisher: University of Chicago Press

ISBN: 022663390X

Category: Philosophy

Page: 278

View: 458

Is love best when it is fresh? For many, the answer is a resounding “yes.” The intense experiences that characterize new love are impossible to replicate, leading to wistful reflection and even a repeated pursuit of such ecstatic beginnings. Aaron Ben-Ze’ev takes these experiences seriously, but he’s also here to remind us of the benefits of profound love—an emotion that can only develop with time. In The Arc of Love, he provides an in-depth, philosophical account of the experiences that arise in early, intense love—sexual passion, novelty, change—as well as the benefits of cultivating long-term, profound love—stability, development, calmness. Ben-Ze’ev analyzes the core of emotions many experience in early love and the challenges they encounter, and he offers pointers for weathering these challenges. Deploying the rigorous analysis of a philosopher, but writing clearly and in an often humorous style with an eye to lived experience, he takes on topics like compromise, commitment, polyamory, choosing a partner, online dating, and when to say “I love you.” Ultimately, Ben-Ze’ev assures us, while love is indeed best when fresh, if we tend to it carefully, it can become more delicious and nourishing even as time marches on.

Agile Transformation

Structures, Processes and Mindsets for the Digital Age Neil Perkin ... flourish.74 His concept of the all-or-nothing marriage describes how our expectations ...

Author: Neil Perkin

Publisher: Kogan Page Publishers

ISBN: 0749497483

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 320

View: 309

Traditional organizational structures and cultures are no longer fit for purpose in a digitally-empowered world. The number of new and disruptive technologies is increasing, the speed of change shows no sign of slowing down and organization development practitioners and business leaders need to act urgently to enable their companies to succeed in the digital age. Agile Transformation is the much-needed guide on how to achieve this success. Packed full of practical advice, this book covers everything from why new operating models are needed, how to apply agile principles at scale, leverage digital-native processes and why change managers need to think big but start small. Agile Transformation also covers how to build and engage high performing teams for change, how to tackle the employee mindset that can hinder agile adoption and why developing an agile business is not an excuse to fail to plan. There is also guidance on how to develop fast and focused high-velocity decision making, build momentum for change and apply an agile approach to different business functions including HR, Finance, Sales, Operations and Procurement. This book is crucial reading for all businesses wanting to effectively compete in the new world of work.

Intrinsic

The All-or-Nothing Marriage. Schwartz, Alexandra, 'Love is Not a Permanent State of Enthusiasm: An Interview with Esther Perel', The New Yorker, ...

Author: Sharath Jeevan

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1913068404

Category: Self-Help

Page: 352

View: 827

*** AN INSPIRATIONAL MANIFESTO FOR RE-IGNITING OUR PASSION FOR LIFE AND OUR INNER DRIVE FROM SHARATH JEEVAN, A LEADING EXPERT ON MOTIVATION. 'An essential guide for re-discovering our motivation and for living more fulfilling lives.' NIR EYAL, author of Indistractable 'Intrinsic provides a way out of the malaise many of us have been feeling. Essential reading.' JONAH BERGER, author of Contagious 'A thoughtful and inspiring book. Readers should rush to embrace the lessons of Intrinsic.' DAN HEATH, co-author of Switch We are in a motivational mess today. Many of us feel like we are going through the motions - as workers, managers, spouses and partners, parents and citizens. We feel jaded and unhappy with the organizations we are part of, whether that's the company we work for or our child's school. And some of us feel deeply alienated from the wider societies in which we live, particularly in the face of vast social problems - from climate change to our increasingly 'winner takes all' world. But life doesn't need to be this way. Motivation thinking holds the key to this promise. Intrinsic uses motivation thinking not just to accurately diagnose these problems, but to find solutions. As a leading expert on motivation, Sharath Jeevan helps us see how we can achieve more lasting fulfilment and success in our work, careers, relationships, parenting, and as citizens. Jeevan applies the concepts of Purpose (how what we do helps others), Autonomy (our ability to positively change things) and Mastery (our sense of continually getting better) to help us see our motivation in these key life areas in a radically new light. Jeevan takes us on a journey around the world to find practical and inspirational answers to solving our motivational crisis, harnessing ground-breaking research, from psychology and economics to philosophy and behavioural science. Intrinsic shows us how we can fall back in love with our lives, and create the lives we want.

Choices in Relationships

The all or nothing marriage: How the best marriages work. New York: Penguin. Gassman-Pines, A., Gibson-Davis, C. M., Vernot, C., Butler, M., Hall, N., ...

Author: David Knox

Publisher: SAGE Publications

ISBN: 1544379188

Category: Social Science

Page: 504

View: 788

Now published by SAGE! Cutting edge and student-friendly, Choices in Relationships takes readers through the lifespan of relationships, marriages, and families, and utilizes research to help them make deliberate, informed choices in their interpersonal relationships. Authors David Knox, Caroline Schacht, and new co-author I. Joyce Chang draw on extensive research to challenge students to think critically about the choice-making process, consider the consequences involved with choices, view situations in a positive light, and understand that not making a choice is a choice after all. The extensively revised Thirteenth Edition reflects the rapidly changing world with over 700 new research citations, a new feature on how technology effects relationships, revised "Culture and Diversity" features that focus on how choices in relationships vary across different cultures, new and increased coverage of single and LGBTQIA individuals, and more. This title is accompanied by a complete teaching and learning package. Contact your SAGE representative to request a demo. Digital Option / Courseware SAGE Vantage is an intuitive digital platform that delivers this text’s content and course materials in a learning experience that offers auto-graded assignments and interactive multimedia tools, all carefully designed to ignite student engagement and drive critical thinking. Built with you and your students in mind, it offers simple course set-up and enables students to better prepare for class. Assignable Video with Assessment Assignable video (available with SAGE Vantage) is tied to learning objectives and curated exclusively for this text to bring concepts to life. Watch a sample video now. LMS Cartridge (formerly known as SAGE Coursepacks): Import this title’s instructor resources into your school’s learning management system (LMS) and save time. Don’t use an LMS? You can still access all of the same online resources for this title via the password-protected Instructor Resource Site. Learn more.

The Routledge International Handbook of Social Work and Sexualities

Attachment and differentiation in relationships: An interview with Ellyn Bader, ... The all-or-nothing marriage: How the best marriages work.

Author: SJ Dodd

Publisher: Routledge

ISBN: 1000408612

Category: Social Science

Page: 582

View: 467

This Handbook is the first volume to address the dynamic issues related to sexuality from a social work perspective by providing a comprehensive, current and international overview of issues related to sexuality. It explains how each issue is important and critically discusses the leading views in the area, providing diverse and inclusive perspectives from leading scholars in the field. Divided into seven parts: Structural Context Sexual Identities Sexuality trough the Lifespan Health, Mental Health, and Sexuality Sexual Health and Well-Being: Pleasure, Desire, and Consent Practice Issues Regulating Sexuality: Historical and Contemporary Legislation It will be of interest to students, academics, researchers,and practitioners of social work and related health and social care subjects, and is particularly relevant for practice courses as well as courses on Human Growth and Development and Human Behavior in the Social Environment.

Couples That Work

In his book The All or Nothing Marriage, Eli Finkle charts the history of the Western world's approach to marriage from the days when it was scarcely more ...

Author: Jennifer Petriglieri

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 0241379016

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 304

View: 721

Every couple wants a happy relationship and a meaningful career but how do we balance both? In Couples that Work, Professor Jennifer Petriglieri shifts away from the language of sacrifice and trade-offs and focuses on how couples can successfully tackle the challenges they will face throughout their lives--together. The book explores key questions like: - Can you and your partner have equally important careers or must you prioritise one over the other? - How can you juggle children or family commitments without sacrificing your work? - Does every decision require compromise or can you find solutions that benefit you both? Identifying common triggers and traps, and presenting engaging exercises to help you avoid and overcome them, this book will help every couple design their own unique way to combine love and work at every stage of their journey. 'Hugely insightful. All couples must read this now' Susan David, author of Emotional Agility 'Managing one career is hard enough; two often seems impossible. In this book, Jennifer shares what she's learned about how couples can not only survive but thrive' Adam Grant, author of Originals

The Remarriage Manual

How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around Terry Gaspard ... In The All-Or-Nothing Marriage, he explains that there has been a 40 percent ...

Author: Terry Gaspard

Publisher: Sounds True

ISBN: 1683644085

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 264

View: 904

The 10 Keys to a Successful Remarriage Based on the author’s personal experience, over 30 years of clinical practice, knowledge from leading marriage and remarriage researchers, and 100 in-depth interviews of remarried people, The Remarriage Manual offers 10 essential keys to a successful remarriage: Build a Culture of Appreciation, Respect, and Tolerance. Negativity is toxic. Personal growth and love are possible when you can express appreciation through positive words and actions. Make Your Remarriage a Top Priority. Never underestimate the power of intentional time with your partner to increase physical and emotional intimacy. Ditch the Baggage from Your First Marriage. Learn ways to be more reflective and less reactive to triggers that hit raw spots or vulnerabilities stemming from prior relationships. Don’t Keep Secrets about Money. Remarried couples face complicated financial issues such as unequal assets, child support, alimony, and education costs for children and stepchildren. Honesty and full disclosure about finances are essential. Don’t Let Mistrust Stop You from Being Vulnerable and Emotionally Intimate. Learn that vulnerability and trust go hand in hand and the steps you can take to be authentic and intimate with your partner so you can achieve long-lasting love. Get Sexy and Fall in Love All Over Again. Given the stressors of a second marriage, it can be particularly challenging to stay sexually intimate. Yet moments of connection, such as touching, talking, or making love, are all part of the glue that holds a second marriage together. Don’t Make a Big Deal about Nothing . . . but Do Deal with Important Issues. Differences in beliefs, expectations, and conversational styles can cause you to blow things out of proportion and tune each other out. Effective communication will help you overcome these types of misunderstandings. Manage the Flames of Conflict. You can’t avoid disagreements entirely. What you can do, however, is learn how to manage them successfully to avoid the “blame game” so that they can nourish rather than drain your remarriage. Embrace Your Role as a Stepparent and Create Positive Stepfamily Memories. There is no such thing as instant love in a stepfamily. When biological parents are involved, the relationships can get even trickier. Learn to adjust to your role as a stepparent—the chances of a second marriage succeeding go way up when both partners adopt an attitude of “we’re in this together.” Say You’re Sorry and Mean It. Studies show that apologizing to your partner for hurting their feelings and granting forgiveness are crucial to the success of a second marriage. It’s essential that remarried couples learn the value of sincere apologies and forgiveness. Drawing on the experiences of dozens of couples and remarriage scenarios, Terry Gaspard shows you how to bring each key home and set up your relationship for lasting success. Whether you are thinking of remarrying and concerned about going the distance or are already remarried and struggling, The Remarriage Manual provides the expert advice, practical tools, hope, and inspiration you need to prevent challenges from becoming deal breakers. The 10 keys provided here will help put you and your spouse on solid footing; keep the flame between you burning bright; and build a deeply trusting, loving, and sustainable connection for the long haul.