When I Say No I Feel Guilty

Are you embarrassed by praise or crushed by criticism? Are you having trouble coping with people? Learn the answers in When I Say No, I Feel Guilty, the best-seller with revolutionary new techniques for getting your own way.

Author: Manuel J. Smith

Publisher: Bantam

ISBN: 0307785440

Category: Self-Help

Page: 352

View: 409

The best-seller that helps you say: "I just said 'no' and I don't feel guilty!" Are you letting your kids get away with murder? Are you allowing your mother-in-law to impose her will on you? Are you embarrassed by praise or crushed by criticism? Are you having trouble coping with people? Learn the answers in When I Say No, I Feel Guilty, the best-seller with revolutionary new techniques for getting your own way. From the Paperback edition.

How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty

Recognizing the many things you do for others with a willing spirit, you'll feel
more confident and less guilty at times when you really do want to say no to them.
The second basic principle of saying no: Less is more. The most powerful and ...

Author: Connie V Hatch

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1446460991

Category: Self-Help

Page: 272

View: 572

'How to Say no without feeling guilty teaches practical skills for embracing what's important and getting rid of what is keeping us from living the lives we want to live. It's a book to consult over and over again. I highly recommend it' John Gray By learning to say no without feeling guilty, you will find time you never dreamed you had. Even more important, you will learn to say yes to all those things that you hold most dear to your heart. Your life will become yours again. As you learn to say no, you become more available, compassionate, effective, energetic and generous to the people, organisations and causes dear to you. With the authors' help you will be able to identify what is truly important in your life and realise that vision. Whether your dream is to write a great novel, have more leisure time, or travel the world, both your life and the world around you will be better off because you have learned to say no.How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty devotes a chapter each to saying no: --at work;--to kids, family and friends;--to invitations, dates and romantic entanglements;--to requests for money whether from friends or charities;--to high maintenance people;as well as a chapter on all-purpose no's, difficult no's with extra bite, and excuses.

How to Say No and Not Feel Guilty

Then this is the book for you.

Author: Amalie Andersen




Page: 85

View: 206

How To Say No And Not Feel GuiltySet Your Boundaries, Discover The Power Of No, Train Your Assertiveness, Stop People Pleasing, Stop Procrastination.Welcome to the WORLD OF FEELING GREAT!Do you want to be more productive, better organised and successful but don't know where to begin? Are you thinking of getting rid of annoying and time-consuming negative thoughts, procrastination, overthinking, laziness and distractions that eat up your time and affect your mood? Congratulations, you're in the right place!Instead of allowing procrastination, overthinking, laziness and distractions to rule your life without purpose, you have the power to proactively develop positive thinking that will control your consistent success throughout life, you'll discover the power of saying "no", you'll become more assertive in the workplace and with friends, you'll become more self-focused.There's a radical new shift in thinking over the past few years that the way we control our thoughts, good or bad can affect our body and our health in many ways, none more so to switching from negative thoughts, procrastination, overthinking, laziness and distractions to much healthier and productive positive thoughts that will improve and increase our productivity, sense of wellbeing and success.You'll find this book very different from similar books about procrastination, overthinking, laziness and distractions, we'll discuss the many ways in which you can improve your life almost instantly, as well as some strategies that will serve your unique vision of success at every stage in life.From the very first page, you'll begin to understand how positive thinking can create a substantial positive impact on your life, and what you can do to set yourself up for success.Included in this book:Set Your Boundaries.Why Are Personal Boundaries So Important? Why it's Hard to Set Boundaries. Train Your Assertiveness. The Goodness of Becoming More Assertive. Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness. Putting Yourself First. Reasons Putting Yourself First Is The Opposite Of Selfish. How to Put Yourself First Without Feeling Guilty and Selfish. Frequently Asked Questions: Will this book help me become more successful?In addition to helping you overcome overthinking, you also learn how to avoid negative thinking, manage stress and stop worrying so much, this book will teach you how to TAKE ACTION!Will this book help me develop better habits?YES! If you are looking to become more success-minded and positive and looking to begin healthy habits such as exercising, eating fresh vegetables, keeping your home clean and tidy and achieving email inbox zero every day...Then this is the book for you...

Achieving Success Through Academic Assertiveness

Indeed, it provides Manual Smith with the title of his classic book “When I say No I
Feel Guilty” (1975). So some of the difficulty is that saying “no” can often generate
guilt (page 81). Another difficulty is that people who bother to ask you ...

Author: Jennifer Moon

Publisher: Routledge

ISBN: 1135852553

Category: Education

Page: 216

View: 348

Academic assertiveness is an essential capability that is required of students who wish to achieve academic and professional success. Written for students who are aiming to achieve college success, Achieving Success through Academic Assertiveness: Real life strategies for today's higher education students focuses on the challenges that learners face and encourages positive actions that support triumphs in learning situations. Jennifer Moon creatively explores the importance of this emerging topic and how assertiveness is linked to the process of learning and overall student development, critical thinking and academic achievement.

Stop Being a Victim

I have studied many languages and have said things to people that I didn't
realize were offensive or inappropriate considering the situation. ... Learn to Say
No The best book for this is Manuel J. Smith's book, “When I Say No, I Feel Guilty.

Author: Sharon Stewart

Publisher: Sharon Stewart


Category: Psychology


View: 841

Do you know that you're a good person yet never seem to get the respect you deserve from others? Do you always seem to end up in situations that leave you feeling like life's left you out again? Or worse, that it keeps repeating the same horrible stuff over and over? Do you hang out with people you think don't really fulfill your needs but you don't know how to find any new friends? Or you just keep getting more of what you already have? Do the business people at your workplace avoid you like the plague? Except when they need work done? Otherwise they want little to do with you? They all head out to the pub but never ask you? Does your job leave you wanting and your salary always leave you short? Are you constantly frustrated? Do you want to cry? Do you get depressed? Or anxious? Or fluctuate between both? Why are you so unhappy? You think like a Victim. A victim complex is pretty common in our western society but can be overcome with some work. Taking a good hard look at yourself is the name of this game, and "Stop Being a Victim," delivers. You can't change others - you can only change yourself, and this book walks you through what you need to do to change your life and find the happiness and inner peace that has eluded you for so long! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Your happiness awaits you.

The Conscience and Self Conscious Emotions in Adolescence

In the 1970s, the self-help book When I Say No, I Feel Guilty was popular. ... in
particular, identified with its sentiment: the issue of constantly doing something
you would rather not or bending over backward to avoid something because
saying ...

Author: Frans Schalkwijk

Publisher: Routledge

ISBN: 1317637747

Category: Psychology

Page: 278

View: 303

The consequences of apparent moral failings in an individual are something that can be seen frequently in the media and in everyday life. One issue that is rarely addressed in public discussion about someone’s ‘lack of conscience’ is any thought as to how the conscience actually functions. In The Conscience and Self-Conscious Emotions in Adolescence, Frans Schalkwijk presents a new definition of the conscience as a psychic function in which self-conscious emotions and empathy are dominant. Schalkwijk combines current scientific research into empathy, shame and guilt as well as his rich clinical experience to create a wealth of information for clinicians working with children and adolescents. This book is a superb guide for operationalizing the diagnostics of the conscience, presenting a developmental approach to the theory and diagnostics of the conscience and integrating psychoanalytic, cognitive behavioural, social, psychological and neurobiological theories. Research has shown that human behaviours are often enacted well below our potential cognitive level. In this book, a balance is found between affective and cognitive aspects of the conscience. Accessibly written and incorporating case studies and detailed notation throughout, this is a highly practical work ideal for psychoanalysts, psychiatrists, psychologists, students and professionals working with children, adolescents and adults.

A Therapist s Manual for Cognitive Behavior Therapy in Groups

aration for next session's new module (assertion training), to (a) read the first four
chapters of Manuel Smith's book When I Say No I Feel Guilty and (b) contact his
buddy in the course of the week. Feedback to Therapist The therapist now ...

Author: L.I. Sank

Publisher: Springer Science & Business Media

ISBN: 1461583306

Category: Psychology

Page: 284

View: 940

One of the great advantages of rational-emotive therapy (RET) and cog nitive behavior therapy (CBT) is that they frequently employ psycho educational methods-including bibliotherapy, workshops, lectures, courses, recordings, and films. I created RET at the beginning of 1955 after I had abandoned the practice of psychoanalysis because I found it to be highly inefficient and philosophically superficial. Being almost addicted to one-to-one therapy as a result of my analytic training and experience, I at first did RET only with individual clients and found this pioneering form of CBT considerably more effective than the other ther apies with which I had experimented. By 1957, however, I realized that RET could be taught to large num bers of persons through self-help books and articles and that RET -ori ented writings could not only prove valuable to the general public but that they could also be successfully employed to hasten and intensify the therapy of my individual clients. I therefore wrote a number of RET self help books-especially How to Live with a Neurotic (1957), Sex without Guilt (1958), A New Guide to Rational Living (with Robert A. Harper; original edition, 1961), and A Guide to Successful Marriage (with Robert A. Harper, 1961).

Don t Sweat the Small Stuff at Work

Our work suffers, as does our personal and family life. By saying yes too often, we
begin to feel victimized and resentful that we have so much to do. Because we
tend to feel guilty when we say no, it's often difficult to see that we were the ones

Author: Richard Carlson

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1848940467

Category: Self-Help

Page: 272

View: 591

Most people spend at least 40 hours a week in the office, and constant deadlines, heavy workloads, and daily dilemmas can make working a stressful experience. In his new book, Richard Carlson shows readers how to interact more peaceably and joyfully with colleagues, clients and bosses. He reveals tips such as planning what you’re going to say in a meeting or presentation, taking a deep breath before reacting to a co-worker’s criticism, and asking for a raise in the most effective way possible. Transforming your outlook at the office will not only ease stress in the workplace, it will also lead to a happier life at home. Written in Carlson’s warm, appealing style, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff at Work is certain to be an inspirational bestseller to the thousands who loved his previous books.

Management and Leadership in Nursing and Health Care

Learn to behave so that you act in ways that increase the probability of winning
while saving energy to use in another important direction! learning to Say “no”
Read the book titled When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Smith (1975/1985).
Someone ...

Author: Elaine La Monica Rigolosi, EdD, JD, FAAN

Publisher: Springer Publishing Company

ISBN: 0826108407

Category: Medical

Page: 448

View: 885

Time-tested leadership and management strategies based on experiential learning activities are at the foundation of this text for undergraduate and graduate students in nursing and health care leadership or management courses. It is grounded in theories and concepts applied to the health care environment from business, organizational psychology, health care law, and educational administration fields. The text encompasses theories of effective communication, problem analysis, conflict resolution, and time management challenges. This new edition includes three new chapters that cover current theories of creative leadership, working with diverse groups, and ethics for leaders and managers in health care, as well as new experiential learning activities throughout. These activities make theory application palpable and support the development of skills that students can use to motivate, educate, and lead those in health care to achieve the goals of a group, team, or organization. Included among the experiential learning activities are case studies, simulation, review questions, suggested assignments, and expected learning outcomes. The text will also be of value to nurse managers who wish to enhance their current leadership or managerial skills. Key Features: Provides strong direction for improving leadership and management skills in the health care environment Includes three new chapters on creative leadership, working with diverse groups, and ethics for healthcare leaders and managers Offers new learning activities throughout, including review questions and suggested assignments Features over 35 Experiential Exercises which invite the reader to experience new behaviors in a safe environment


When To Say Yes, How to Say No Henry Cloud, John Townsend. 3. Begin to
examine where the guilt messages come from. 4. ... God's ways can restore your
soul and make your heart rejoice instead of feeling that controlling, parental guilt.

Author: Henry Cloud

Publisher: Zondervan

ISBN: 031029603X

Category: Religion

Page: 304

View: 408

Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask: - Can I set limits and still be a loving person? - What are legitimate boundaries? - What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? - How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? - Aren't boundaries selfish? - Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.

A Practical Guide to Assertiveness

After reading through the preceding sections on 'Saying “no”' and 'Offering a
compromise', select (1) one situation where you ... The next four assertiveness
techniques are considered by Manuel Smith in his book When I Say No, I Feel

Author: David Bonham-Carter

Publisher: Icon Books Ltd

ISBN: 1848315228

Category: Self-Help

Page: 224

View: 272

What is assertiveness, and what are benefits? Filled with straightforward, practical advice, Introducing Assertiveness: A Practical Guide will help you find out, allowing you to overcome passive behaviour and take ownership of your own thoughts and feelings without becoming aggressive. Experienced life and business coach David Bonham-Carter provides clear, practical steps to help you develop they key characteristics of assertiveness – steps that can improve your work life and your personal life.


One of the key messages rammed home repeatedly in assertiveness training is
that it has absolutely nothing to do with ... Commended by Manuel Smith in his
famous book When I Say No I Feel Guilty, the broken record boils down to a
simple ...

Author: Stephen Briers

Publisher: Pearson UK

ISBN: 0273781448

Category: Self-Help

Page: 280

View: 842

Exposing the self-help myths that make us all more miserable. This is what your psychologist would really tell you–if he thought you could handle it! This is the kick up the backside the self-help genre needs: an intelligent, provocative and thought-provoking expose of the modern myths that we’re told make us happier, but in reality screw us up. Clinical psychologist, Dr Stephen Briers shines a light into the dark corners of self-help and explodes the myths, false hopes, quack philosophies and unrealistic expectations it routinely advocates. It is a refreshing antidote to the `same old same old’ approaches, offering a radical re-think of the way we approach problems in our lives, offering empowering new perspectives and expert advice on avoiding the biggest life traps. Dr Briers questions the perceived wisdom, shakes up the status quo, and encourages us to think again.

Take Charge Living

This brief note cannot detail all of these steps of change in taking charge of
yourself, only recommend you read and follow each of them. Manuel J. Smith, Ph.
D. Dr. Smith is author of the best-selling self-help book, “When I Say No I Feel

Author: Marion Kramer Jacobs, PH.D.

Publisher: iUniverse

ISBN: 0595612962

Category: Self-Help

Page: 176

View: 142

Do you settle for too little? Let others call the shots? Dream of a better life but do nothing to change the one you have? If it's time to move forward, then Take-Charge Living is for you! Whether it's lose weight, get out of a bad relationship, quit procrastinating, seek love, change jobs, go back to school, curb anger-whatever behavior you need to change, this step-by-step program in six acts teaches you how to do it successfully. You will learn to: Set appropriate expectations about change Confront fears of changing Target the right behaviors to change Deal with emotional resistance to change Follow a carefully sequenced practice plan Move from dress rehearsals to real world performances You are capable of exerting far more control over your moods, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors-in other words, your reactions to life-than you think. And it doesn't take psychotherapy to do it. So if the story currently playing on your life's stage is not one you feel like applauding, here's your chance to rewrite the script and star in a satisfying performance!


He assigned a lengthy reading list for White: Feeling Good, How to Be Your Own
Best Friend, The Psychology of SelfEsteem, The Neurotic Personality of Our Time
, Our Inner Conflicts, When I Say No, I Feel Guilty, and A New Guide to Rational ...

Author: Lowell Cauffiel

Publisher: Overamstel Uitgevers

ISBN: 9049980201

Category: Fiction


View: 172

When a Detroit doctor’s secret life gets out of hand, killers come for him In the exclusive suburb of Grosse Pointe, Alan Canty was a respected psychologist, with clients drawn from wealthy families across Detroit. But at night, he ventured into the city’s seedy south side, where, under the name Dr. Al Miller, he met with prostitutes. One girl in particular caught Dr. Al’s eye: a skinny teenage drug addict named Dawn, an ex-honor student who had fallen under the spell of a pimp named Lucky. Canty became their sugar daddy, spending thousands to buy them clothes, cars, and gifts. But when the money ran out, Canty’s luck went with it—and he was soon found hacked to pieces, his body scattered across Michigan. Covering the trial for the local press, Lowell Cauffiel became enthralled by this story of double lives and double crosses. In this thrilling true crime tale, Cauffiel shows what happens when deception turns fatal.

Setting Boundaries for Women

(and they need to realize this is a problem) creates situations where they have no
concept that saying no can be the most healthy thing they ... And once we make
that choice, boundaries help us feel secure about it rather than feeling guilty.

Author: Allison Bottke

Publisher: Harvest House Publishers

ISBN: 0736948201

Category: Religion

Page: 208

View: 233

Women who have trouble setting and enforcing appropriate boundaries with the people in their lives will find help and inspiration in the latest offering in Allison Bottke’s popular Setting Boundaries® series. Her six steps to SANITY are: S…Stop your own negative behavior A…Assemble a support group N…Nip excuses in the bud I…Implement rules and boundaries T….Trust your instincts Y…Yield everything to God Allison’s new book will help women who have allowed others to overstep their boundaries, whether it’s a spouse, an adult child, a boss, a parent, a neighbor or a friend. Setting Boundaries® For Women is designed to inspire, empower, and equip women with the tools to transform lives.

Creating Wholeness

Burns, D. (1980). Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. New York: Signet.
Davis, M., Eshelman, E. R., & McKay, M. (1982). ... When I Say No, I Feel Guilty.
New York: Bantam Books. Tannen, D. (1990). You Just Don't Understand. New
York: ...

Author: Erik Peper

Publisher: Springer Science & Business Media

ISBN: 1461530040

Category: Psychology

Page: 232

View: 676

This workbook grew out of the practices assigned for self-growth and development for (1) Holistic Health: Western Perspectives, a course at San Francisco State Uni versity; (2) clients and participants at the Biofeedback and Family Therapy Institute in Berkeley; and (3) participants in peak performance training programs. The goals of this workbook are to offer experiences to facilitate life-long learning of skills to enhance health and growth. We hope the reader will experience increased autonomy and gain self-mastery skills through exercises that foster awareness and control. The cascading program is based upon uncovering, allowing, and encouraging the intrinsic drive toward integration, wholeness, and health. Each year many of our students report that practicing these skills has affected them deeply. The program offered them prag matic skills to master stress, set goals, and experience a deep change in their worldview and health. A number of them have said that this was the most useful course they had taken at San Francisco State University. The materials presented here are part of a course offered by the Institute for Holistic Healing Studies. It is also a requirement for a Holistic Health Minor and fulfills a part of the general education requirement for integrated and interdisci plinary learning. The development of this program at San Francisco State Uni versity is due to the foresight and courage of George Araki, Ph.D.

Instant Manager Overcoming Information Overload

... I Say No I Feel Guilty, Bantam Press Szantesson, Ingemar (1994) Mind
Mapping and Memory, Kogan Page Tame, David (1984) The Secret Power of
Music, Destiny Books Templar (2001) Fast Thinking Difficult People, Prentice Hall
Templar ...

Author: Tina Konstant

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1444149350

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 208

View: 329

As a manager and leader are you faced each day with an avalanche of new and bewildering demands? Do the days seem to get shorter as you try to juggle a demanding career with developing new skills and maintaining a balanced life? Relax! Instant Manager is a new way of winning back time and growing your confidence and professionalism with the support and guidance of THE experts in management. Based on the 10 questions most frequently asked by managers JUST LIKE YOU, Instant Manager gives you easy access to the knowledge and guidance you need and even includes a handy tear out card of ten top tips to carry that knowledge with you wherever you go. Written in a concise, accessible style, this is the best support any manager can have. Take the next step in Overcoming Information Overload, including the following: what information overload is and how to recognise it, how to speed read effectively, how to avoid overloading others.

Handbook of Clinical Behavior Therapy with Adults

When I say no, I feel guilty. New York: Dial Press. Sternbach, R. (1974). Pain
patients: Traits and treatment. London: Academic Press. Turner, J. A., &
Chapman, C. R. (1982). Psychological interventions for chronic pain: A critical
review. I, II.

Author: Alan S. Bellack

Publisher: Springer Science & Business Media

ISBN: 1461324270

Category: Psychology

Page: 732

View: 461

Despite the occasional outcries to the contrary, the field of behavior therapy is still growing, and the asymptote has not been reached yet. The umbrella of behavior therapy continues to enlarge and still is able to encompass new theories, new con cepts, new research, new data, and new clinical techniques. Although the number of new behavioral journals now has stabilized, we still see a proliferation of books on the subject. In the past few years, however, we have seen considerable specialization within behavior therapy. No longer is it possible to be a generalist and remain fully abreast of all the relevant developments. Thus, we see behavior therapists who deal with adults, those who deal with children, those whose specialty is hospital psychiatry, and those who see themselves as practitioners of behavioral medicine. Even within a subarea such as behavioral medicine, specialization runs supreme to the extent that there are experts in the specific addictions, adult medical problems, and child medical problems. Given the extent of specialization, there are numerous ways "to skin" the pro verbial "cat." We therefore have chosen to look at the contemporary work in behavior therapy that is being carried out with adults, in part, of course, because of our long-standing interest in this area as teachers, researchers, and clinicians. In so doing, we have chosen to highlight the clinical aspects of the endeavor but not at the expense of the rich research heritage for each of the specific adult disorders.

The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection

18, No. 5 421–428, 2007 Simon, Rich, The Art Farm and Other Desperate
Situations, Random House Trade Paperbacks, New York, 2007 Smith, Manuel,
When I Say No I Feel Guilty, Bantam, New York, 1985 Walker, Brian, Lecture at ...

Author: Rokelle Lerner

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 075739776X

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 274

View: 494

In her latest book, relationship expert Rokelle Lerner, tackles the innerworkings of narcissism and offers compassionate and realistic advice for surviving a relationship with those afflicted with this personality disorder. A Narcissist can make life exhilaratingly exciting one minute, and shear hell the next. A narcissist has no qualms about taking another's money, love, admiration, body or soul to satisfy their unquenchable hunger. They are not inherently evil, but unfortunately their wounds compel them to act in ways that are sometimes unconscionable, damaging, and ultimately tragic. Whether a mother-in-law, friend, coworker or boss, sometimes it's impossible to avoid narcissists, so instead of being miserable or taken advantage of, Rokelle Lerner shares her insights on the dynamics behind this personality disorder to give readers the tools to cope with narcissists, including: Learning to see narcissists as they see themselves Creating defense factors to ward them off Maintaining a balanced relationship based on mutual love, not one-sided narcissism

Mental Space

Scheele, P. (1995) The Photo-reading Whole Mind System. London: Hodder and
Stoughton. Schwartz, D.J. (1986) Maximise your Mental Power. London:
Thorsons. Smith, M.J. (1975) When I say No I Feel Guilty. London: Bantum Press.

Author: Tina Konstant

Publisher: Pearson Education

ISBN: 9781843040163

Category: Conflict management

Page: 205

View: 426

Rush, rush, fast life, too much pressure, too much work, no time to stop, no time to think... Had enough? This is the book that will help you get perspective and make space to think clearly and be happier too. Couldn't you do with some mental space?