Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes

In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical?

Author: Cory O'Brien

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 1101619678

Category: Humor

Page: 304

View: 414

Get this: Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

George Washington Is Cash Money

In George Washington Is Cash Money, Cory O’Brien, author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, does away with the pomp and circumstance and calls America’s history what it is: one long, violent soap opera.

Author: Cory O'Brien

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 0698186702

Category: Humor

Page: 224

View: 484

PREPARE TO BE BEAKED BY THE MAJESTIC EAGLE OF HISTORY Most of us are familiar with the greatest hits and legendary heroes of US history. In George Washington Is Cash Money, Cory O’Brien, author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, does away with the pomp and circumstance and calls America’s history what it is: one long, violent soap opera. In his signature clever, crude, and cuss-ridden style, O’Brien reminds us that: · Teddy Roosevelt stopped bullets with his manly chest · Harriet Tubman avoided danger by having prophetic seizures. · Joseph Smith invented Mormonism by staring into a hat full of rocks. · Billy the Kid was finally defeated by the smell of fresh bacon. And there’s plenty more Star Spangled stupidity where that came from.

Wish List

“What,” Isay, “You meanlike a genie grants me three wishes?” “Yeah, like that. ...
It's likea survey. You type inyour wishes and theycompile themand tellyou the
most popular ones. ... “'Cause chicks are gonna put down stupid shit.” I don't ...

Author: John Locke

Publisher: Head of Zeus

ISBN: 1781852391

Category: Fiction

Page: 288

View: 697

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR – YOU MIGHT JUST GET IT... Buddy is just your average guy, So imagine his surrise when he fills in a survey on a wish-fulfilment website and only days later hooks up with the hottest actress in Hollywood. But as Buddy is about to discover, in life, you have to read the small print. When he finds out the gruesome price he must pay to the architects of the Wish List, he knows there's only one man he can call to get him out of this nightmare: Donovan Creed, killer-for-hire.

Donovan Creed Omnibus 1 8

“What else would you wish for?” Mikesays. ... agenie grants methree wishes?” “
Yeah ... Youtype inyour wishes and they compile them and tell you the most
popular ones.It's updated every ... Cause chicks are gonna putdown stupid shit.” I
don't ...

Author: John Locke

Publisher: Head of Zeus

ISBN: 1781854343

Category: Fiction

Page: 1920

View: 850

All 8 instalments of John Locke's bestselling Donovan Creed novels in one volume: 1. LETHAL PEOPLE: Would you let a little girl be murdered if it saved your own family? 2. LETHAL EXPERIMENT: A total stranger offers you $100k, the only condition is that someone else has to die... 3. SAVING RACHEL: You can choose between your wife or your lover, but you can only save one... 4. NOW & THEN: Could you leave behind all you've ever known, for the life you've always wanted? 5. WISH LIST: Be careful what you wish for... 6. A GIRL LIKE YOU: Would you give up the woman you love if her death could save millions? 7. VEGAS MOON: What crimes would you commit to save your own life? 8. THE LOVE YOU CRAVE: Who would you turn to when you've betrayed everyone you love?

Donovan Creed Foursome 5 8

“What,” Isay, “You meanlike agenie grants methreewishes?” “Yeah, likethat. ...
You type in your wishes andthey compile them and tell you the mostpopular ones
. It's updated every day. ... “'Cause chicks are gonna put down stupid shit.” I don't
 ...

Author: John Locke

Publisher: Head of Zeus

ISBN: 178185436X

Category: Fiction

Page: 960

View: 913

Four of the best: a quartet of John Locke's bestselling Donovan Creed novels in one volume. Donovan Creed is paid to kill people. But he's not a bad guy. Sure, he's got issues. He makes mistakes. He's terrible with women. He's a pretty neglectful father. But his heart is in the right place – and occasionally, just occasionally, he'll try and do the right thing... 1. LETHAL PEOPLE: Would you let a little girl be murdered if it saved your own family? 2. LETHAL EXPERIMENT: A total stranger offers you $100k, the only condition is that someone else has to die... 3. SAVING RACHEL: You can choose between your wife or your lover, but you can only save one... 4. NOW & THEN: Could you leave behind all you've ever known, for the life you've always wanted?

The Storyteller s Sourcebook

Author: Gale Group

Publisher: Gale Cengage

ISBN:

Category: Folk literature

Page: 818

View: 581

The Storyteller's Sourcebook is the first reference tool to bring together from children's collections variants of each folktale, and to supply descriptions of them. It is specifically designed for quick and easy access by the teacher or librarian who wants to locate (1) tales about a given subject, (2) the location of a specific tale title in collections, (3) tales from an ethnic or geographical area, (4) variants of a specific tale. - p. ix.