Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes

In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical?

Author: Cory O'Brien

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 1101619678

Category: Humor

Page: 304

View: 462

Get this: Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

George Washington Is Cash Money

In George Washington Is Cash Money, Cory O’Brien, author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, does away with the pomp and circumstance and calls America’s history what it is: one long, violent soap opera.

Author: Cory O'Brien

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 0698186702

Category: Humor

Page: 224

View: 842

PREPARE TO BE BEAKED BY THE MAJESTIC EAGLE OF HISTORY Most of us are familiar with the greatest hits and legendary heroes of US history. In George Washington Is Cash Money, Cory O’Brien, author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, does away with the pomp and circumstance and calls America’s history what it is: one long, violent soap opera. In his signature clever, crude, and cuss-ridden style, O’Brien reminds us that: · Teddy Roosevelt stopped bullets with his manly chest · Harriet Tubman avoided danger by having prophetic seizures. · Joseph Smith invented Mormonism by staring into a hat full of rocks. · Billy the Kid was finally defeated by the smell of fresh bacon. And there’s plenty more Star Spangled stupidity where that came from.

The Oxford Companion to English Literature

... 1691), 'Les Souhaits ridicules' (in whichJupiter grants three disastrous wishes
to a man and his wife, 1693), and 'Peau d'Asne' ... Hood'; and 'Ricky with the Tuft'
(in which a hideous but intelligent prince must choose whether to marry a
beautiful and stupid ... Perseus Mythical Greek hero, son of Zeus (*Jupiter) and
Danaë.

Author: Dinah Birch

Publisher: Oxford University Press

ISBN: 0192806874

Category: Literary Collections

Page: 1164

View: 831

Written by a team of more than 150 contributors working under the direction of Dinah Birch, and ranging in influence from Homer to the Mahabharata, this guide provides the reader with a comprehensive coverage of all aspects of English literature.

The Storyteller s Sourcebook

Author: Margaret Read MacDonald

Publisher: Gale Cengage

ISBN:

Category: Folk literature

Page: 818

View: 258

The Storyteller's Sourcebook is the first reference tool to bring together from children's collections variants of each folktale, and to supply descriptions of them. It is specifically designed for quick and easy access by the teacher or librarian who wants to locate (1) tales about a given subject, (2) the location of a specific tale title in collections, (3) tales from an ethnic or geographical area, (4) variants of a specific tale. - p. ix.